30 Days Of Shame | Keith Powers AU ( On Hold)

Day Five | Lunch

I stare at her picture on my phone scrolling down her page and admiring the few photos she did have of herself.

I was completely foolish all these years. Most did not pay attention to her beauty, but rather her size. We were all so quick to judge her because she's not as small as most girls, never giving her an actual change.

Zoey isn't beautiful in the classical way, not skinny, no fancy clothes, no exotic racial mix. She is a little shorter than average and certainly larger than a runway model, but in her ordinariness she is stunning. Something radiated from within that rendered her irresistible to me. I thought about her soft lips all night long, I thought about her list and it hurt to even think about how much she dislikes herself. It hurts even more to think that in a way I caused her to feel that way about herself. It only took me five days to actually realize how beautiful she is. Thinking about the bet that I'm sworn to with woody makes my stomach turn. I can't do it.

She has a kind of understated beauty, maybe its because she is so disarmingly unaware of her prettiness. Her brown skin is completely flawless, I doubt she uses face masks or expensive products, it just seems like such a natural kind of beauty. It was her inner beauty that lit her eyes and softened her features. Somehow her imperfections made her perfect. There is a shyness to her, well of course because she's a shy girl.

"What are you looking at nigga." I hear Woody's obnoxious voice, joke as he snatches my phone right out of my hand. My heart pounds as he looks at the screen and I rush up trying to snatched my phone.

"Why are you on big girls instagram." He laughs as he tosses me my phone back I struggle to catch it but succeed.

"Ew nigga you starting to like ol girl ain't you." He grimaced as he shakes his head.

"No what the fuck don't try me." I snap a hint of guilt flashes over me.

"Yeah yeah nigga." He rolls his eyes, the bell for lunch rings and the class clears quickly.

I make my way to my normal lunch table when, I spot Zoey sitting outside alone with a book in her hand. My feet move before I realize what I'm doing as I walk over to her. She had on a pink short sweatpants, she always wears sweatpants I've noticed.

Zoey

I look up from my book to see Keith's caramel skin glowing in front of me. A smile was present on his cheeks as he looked at me. I awkwardly look around, not knowing what to say to him. I had been thinking about him all day, I had so many thoughts in my mind I was so confused about everything because he kissed me. He's being nice to me, he's treating me with respect, it all seems so genuine but it just doesn't feel right.

"Where's your lunch?" He questions as he sits next to me on the bench, just being this close to him makes my heart pound, it has almost been a week should I be used to it by now?

"I'm not hungry." I tell him and a scowl grows on his face.

"I don't want to hear that Zoey and I'm so serious, you're going to eat something and I mean it." He demands his voice serious and his eyes piercing mine.

"I had a big breakfast." I lie

"I don't believe you." He says as he crosses his arm and shakes his head "Come on I'll buy you a pizza."

"I don't want any pizza, I'm fine really." I say as I twiddle with my fingers avoiding eye contact with him.

"One, Look at me, and Two you need to eat something and I mean it." He says in a demanding way I could feel his eyes on me but I didn't want to look up and face him. I stand from the bench and grab my bookbag.

"I'm going to the media center to get a new book." I tell him as I begin to walk off.  I don't get far before I feel his large hand grabbing my arm and swiftly turning me around. His eyes pierce deep into mine.

"Stop playing with me." He says his voice coming out low and demanding. My heart skips a beat, the way he looks at me and tightly but gently grabs my arms causes a fire inside me. I could feel my goosebumps growing as he look down at me the sound of his deep demanding voice sending electricity throughout my entire body.

"I-" I try speaking but words don't come out his intense stare silences me.

"I'm going to buy you some food, and you're going to do what I say."

"Okay" was the only word I could peep out with his face only inches from mine.

"That's my girl." He says causing butterflies to swirl in my tummy the simple words made me blush so hard. A smirk grows on his face as he interlocks his fingers into mine and walks me to the lunch line.

We go through the line and He gets himself a chicken sandwich and ask me what I want. I decide to just get a berry chicken salad and he rolls his eyes at me but doesn't protest. Once we got our meals and they are paid for Keith locks hands with me again and leads me to a table full of his friends. I quickly become panicked as he insist me to sit down next to him. I look around the table and all the guys are looking at me strangely and it makes me feel so uneasy.

"Hi Zoey you look lovely today." Algee speaks and I'm baffled. I don't respond to his complement because he can't be serious. They all hate me and think I'm disgusting and I just don't understand where their new found decency is coming from.

"Eat your lunch." Keith instructs me. I'm hesitant but I oblige as I open the top to my salad and stick my fork in. I take a small bite of it and it's so delicious. I honestly just want to eat just chow down on it, but I'm ashamed and embarrassed.

I start to feel completely guilty after the forth bite of my food. I feel completely and utterly disgusting, it's like I could feel myself getting bigger as I enjoyed the food and that made me sick.

I put my fork down and push the food away in a panick.

"Zoey what's wrong? Is there something in the salad?" He  questions as he pulls the bowl over to him and looks inside it. I shake my head and stand from the table. I can't do this.

My feet move fast as I rush to the bathroom and burst into the largest stall locking it quickly and kneeling in front of the toilet. I stick my two fingers down my throat letting out, the toast and eggs my mom forced me to eat this morning and the salad I had just moments ago.

Once my stomach is empty I feel relief , I don't feel as disgusting and greedy. I could feel the hot tears running down my face as I sit on the ground.

Keith

I stood at the door for 20 minutes wating for Zoey to come out, lunch had been over for 10 minutes and she still hasn't left the restroom. I could feel something building like an unstoppable snowball in the pit of my stomach. I cannot think about  anything else, but her and if she's okay, my heart is starting to beat harder and faster, adrenaline levels rise, as I think about what she could possibly be doing in there, my brain starts to fire out negative thoughts like a machine gun. The negative thoughts keep coming like waves on rocks. I start pacing or moving around irrationally.

My heart drops to the pit of my stomach when she slowly walks out of the bathroom she is so shocked to see me standing there.

"Are you okay?" I ask her frantically as I pull her a to me. Tears are dry strains on her cheeks and her eyes look flushed. The frown on her face makes my heart ache.

"What did you do."I ask her softly as I look in her eyes placing my hand on the side of her face. She let's out a sigh but doesn't answer me. She looks defeated.

I already know what she did and deep down inside my heart I feel as if it's my fault completely.