Darling, I Want to Destroy You

Two

Dosie sighed and propped her elbow onto her computer desk, chin in her hand. It was always too quiet in that little room of hers when Helena wasn't around, and silence meant the things she couldn't hide from came out to play. Instead, she kept music in a constant loop, even when she was sleeping. It was easier that way, she felt; at least she didn't have to worry about the sickness when she couldn't heat the people invading her brain.

With AFI in the background, she went online, hoping he'd be there when she logged in. Being cooped up 24/7, she only had one friend - a boy she'd met in an online art forum a few years back. Dosie crossed her fingers and opened up Skype, biting her already chewed nails as she waited for him to pick up.

It took a few minutes, but finally a boy with unruly brunette curls and the biggest dimples she'd ever seen popped onto the screen. Jenka was the one who pushed her love for art and listened to her bitch about Helena. He was the best friend she'd ever had, although he was the only friend in her life, so the title didn't hold much weight. Even so, he was honored to hold it.

"Hey there, Dosie-doe," he said with a smile that could melt even the most frozen of hearts. "Got anything new to show me?" His green eyes were bright with hope even through the computers, with lashes so long they brushed his cheeks when he blinked. Jenka was transgender and had just begun transitioning when the two had met. Watching him change was almost like an experiment to Dosie, as though he had began as a caterpillar and was going through metamorphosis. There were still a few feminine qualities to his face, but he was still undeniably male in Dosie's eyes, and that was all that mattered.

"No, and I definitely don't have anything good enough to enter into that contest, so don't even ask." She groaned and hit her head against the keyboard, only causing Jenka to laugh a little.

"Have you even gone past the home page of that site? I entered for you, ya dingus." He stated it matter-of-factly, his gaze never wavering from the screen.

Dosie's head immediately went up, her eyes wide with panic. "You did what now? When did you do this?!" She made the video chat smaller and pulled up the contest in another window. After a little searching, she found the list of entries and the rank each had gotten so far. Sure enough, a self portrait in watercolor and acrylics she'd scanned onto her computer and sent him a few weeks ago was on there, currently sitting at first place. It was one of her favorite paintings, from the fact that she'd done it all in shades of blue to the navy wings sprouting from her painted spine, but seeing it on there made her stomach turn to knots.

"Do you have any idea of how good you are, Dose? I knew you wouldn't enter yourself, so I did it for you. You're welcome. I accept thank-yous in the form of food and new paintbrushes."

She groaned and buried her face in her hands. "Jenka, if you haven't noticed by now, my mom will never let me accept that prize even if it was something minor, let alone go halfway across the world to Paris. She'd kill me before that ever happened."

Jenka just rolled his eyes with a sigh. "Then sneak out, dummy. If you were actually contagious, either your mom would've caught it by now or you'd be in a better quarantine. I'll even meet up with you and we can go together. I can email you my address, I'll pack enough food and money for the both of us, and we'll just go on an adventure of sorts. You can't just stay up there like Edward Scissorhands forever, hun. Playing Rapunzel can't be all fun and games."

"I guess you're right, but what happens when I leave, mom comes back, and I'm not here? Besides, the contest doesn't even end for another week, so I might not even win after all. I could be risking everything for absolutely nothing, and what then?"

He thought about it for a long moment before responding. "How about you finally get to see more of the world than you can from a window? You get to feel grass and be blinded by the sun and have wind in that massive blue hair. I'm only seeing a bunch of pros and one or two cons no matter how we slice it." Jenka leaned closer to the screen, as if he could crawl through and take Dosie by the hand. "So what do you say? Are we going on a road trip or what?"

She stayed silent for a bit. "Give me a couple hours to think about it and I'll get back to you. I don't know if I can actually do this, alone or with you. You know me, I only know the world from photos, this might be too much."

Jenka shrugged and put his hands in the air. "Hey, it's your decision, hun. Your life to live, I'm just here to help and hopefully be your overly optimistic sidekick. I'll even send you my address anyway, just in case you do want to take this chance of a lifetime that you seriously deserve. Even if you don't, you can send me hand drawn post cards or whatever you make in your spare time. I just want you to be happy." He sighed and rested his chin on the cluttered desk in front of him. "And on that note, I should probably go do some chores and whatnot. Have fun deciding." He flashed a half-assed salute and signed off, leaving Dosie alone once again.

All she could do was stare at her computer for a long moment before smacking her head against the keyboard again. Making decisions had never been her strong suit, so this would prove to be interesting.