Blurred Lines

Chapter Thirteen: Sorry

After a while of debate, I decided the majority of the wind came from Gabriel's wings, which were just over my head. The beating of the huge, burnt, feathered things pounded my eardrums and induced a nasty headache.

    He flew like he was laying on his stomach, which caused the blood to rush to my head and my ears to ring. I tried to watch the sky above instead of looking down, because there was a huge chance that if I threw up on him he'd drop me.

    In my mind, I had somehow convinced myself Gabriel was a friend. After all, he hadn't dropped us yet, had he?

    But there was still the rational part of my mind that said, Getting dropped is probably our best bet.

    I knew the only reason that I was thinking about such irrelevant things was to preserve my own sanity. If I tried to think of the situation at hand, I would fall apart.

    I met Shawn’s eyes over Gabriel’s broad shoulders. She seemed almost resignedly defiant, like she knew it was over, but she was going to put up one hell of a fight before she went out.

    I wished I could be brave like her. She knew she was over, that we were over, but she still had a spark left in her. I, on the other hand, was just a hollowed out, lost little girl caught doing the wrong thing.

    I lost track of time distracting myself, but I was sure it hadn't been more than half an hour when Gabriel began to descend. It caused a pain in my chest to realize how close we were, and how easily we'd been thwarted.

    "All your little friends are waiting for you," came Gabriel's voice over the sound of the wind. I looked to him, my hair whipping around my face as we plummeted downwards. He was smirking, his eyes burning into mine. I felt squeamish under his gaze, and suddenly I wanted to be dropped, just so I wouldn't have to be anywhere near him.

    But my friends… He said they’re waiting for us, so I guess I can assume he caught them, too.

    My blood boiled. He’d only caught them because of Annie, that filthy little traitor. I wondered if that explosion-type-thing she’d caused before we found Edna was on purpose, or if it was just another side affect of having no control over her autistic body.

    Or was she even really autistic?

    I opened my mouth to respond, but Gabriel suddenly jerked to a stop. His arm around my body knocked all the air out of me as it held me back from rocketing towards the ground, and I heard Shawn give a quick scream before she began gasping for breath.

    Just as I regained my breath, Gabriel's arm let go of me, and I screamed desperately. Fear was tearing at my chest again, all the false calamity I'd managed to build up now destroyed. I was falling, he’d dropped me, this was it, I was going to die.

    I dropped a few feet, and then a hand seized the back of my shirt and my collar choked me as I stared down at the ground. my feet dangled over a grassy green meadow below me. It wasn't far, maybe fifteen feet, and Gabriel's grip was slowly and agonizingly slipping.

    His fingers released. "Oops," I heard him say. Annie's laughter rang around me as I dropped straight towards the earth. My mind swirled in a quick panic, but I managed to get ahold of it in a split second. I did the only thing I knew to do: Fall feet-first. I straightened my body and prepared to bend my knees to absorb the impact.

    My feet slammed to the ground and my knees bent, the force of the impact shooting up my spine.  I thought I’d done it, but I’d underestimated my momentum. I fell forwards and somersaulted across the grass, the weeds tangled in my hair and catching on my clothes. I heard Gabriel's demented laughter as I came to a stop and lay sprawled out on the grass, my hair tangled around my face. I looked up to see him standing a few feet away, with Shawn on the ground in front of him. His sword was in his hand once more. Annie stood off to the side, watching expectantly. Her fiery red hair was tousled by the wind and she seemed somewhat shaken, but her eyes were bright and alive.

    "Well, there's nothing special about this one, is there?" he asked Annie, gesturing to Shawn. Shawn looked him straight on, her black layers draped down her shoulders and her gray eyes glinting with malice.

    Annie shook her head, her expression turning to something that resembled excitement. "And isn't she the one with your Dillon?" Annie nodded. "That makes things much easier," he said with a grin.

    My mind reeled and I tried to process the curt conversation--to put the pieces together-- but when I reached the conclusion it was already too late.

    My last glimpse of Shawn came as she looked death in the eyes, Gabriel raising his sword. I will never be able to wipe her face from my memory; her wide gray eyes, her raven black hair, and the expression of pure regret on her beautiful face. Her back was straight, and she still manage to maintain her elegant dignity as she waited. Time slowed down, and only tear trickled down her cheek. She said one word, and only one word: "Dillon."

    A scream ripped from my throat and I lurched forward, reaching out my hands. Gabriel's sword pierced her chest, blood spurting across her features. My heart twisted and Shawn looked mildly shocked, a small “Oh” escaping her lips. The crimson stained her beautiful pale skin, and Gabriel yanked his sword out of her body with a crunching noise. She looked down as the life streamed from her body, calm as I’d ever seen her. I reached her just in time to catch her, her red blood now gushing on both of us.

    Maniacal laughter rang out behind me, and I pressed my hands to the gaping hole in her chest. I had to stop the blood, had to keep her alive. Shawn couldn’t die. Her hands reached for mine, and her daft fingers pulled my hands away, letting the blood flow freely.

    I looked in her eyes as she lay dying in my lap, and I saw a fire in the gray.

    She was so brave in her last moments, so sure of herself and so accepting of her death. I wish I could’ve been as strong as her.

    "Win," she choked, the blood gurgling in her throat. Her voice was wispy and barely there. "Win, win for me, and tell Dillon I love him," she gasped. I nodded frantically, brushing her hair out of her eyes with trembling hands. Her fingers clasped onto my forearms and she held on until she drew her last rattling breath.

    I stared at her face. Her eyes were still open, a blank gray as they gazed at me. The blood was everywhere, soaked through her shirt and in her hair. Her face was still calm, still sweet and gentle. I didn't care that that there was blood on me, I just wanted her to be serenely perfect, to not look so…dead.

    I hadn't realized, but I was still nodding. I was still nodding as I pried her cold, dead hands off me and closed her eyes. I continued to nod as I combed through her hair with my fingers, obsessively cleaning it of everything that had managed to cling to it on our journey. My head still bobbed up and down as I folded her blood-covered hands over the still-bleeding wound in her chest, to cover it up and make her look like she was sleeping. I could faintly hear Gabriel and Annie's voices behind me, but all that really reached my ears was the silence. The silence of Shawn's heart, the heart that had stopped because of me. Another heart that had stopped because of me.

    "Well, I think it's about time to go," said a cheery voice. A shadow loomed over me and a chill ran down my spine, my arms curling tightly around Shawn. An arm wrapped around my waist and wrenched me away from Shawn. She rolled off my lap and lay on her side, her beautiful hair fanned out across her bloodied face and her arms limp in the crook of her body. I stumbled, trying to get back to her, but I was already being carried into the air.

    I screamed again, tears streaming endlessly. "NO! SHAWN! LET ME GO BACK, I HAVE TO SAVE HER!" I screeched. The wind whipped around me and stole the air from my lungs, but I still screamed until my throat was hoarse and her body was long out of sight.

    I should've never let her come. If she hadn't come with me, if I hadn't convinced her, she would still be living out her life at Borderline. She could've had a family with Dillon and never had to remember her first death, if people could even have kids after death. If they couldn't, she could've at least taken on a lost child.

    But I ripped that away from her, and I ripped apart Shawn and Dillon. Now, all that was left was her cold, dead body, stained in her own blood and left on the ground.

    "I'm sorry," I whispered for what seemed like the millionth time. "I'm sorry I ruined your future."