D-E-A-F

Chapter One: D-E-A-F

Sunday, May 21, 1817

I felt a brisk tap of my shoulder and was instantly awake. I looked up and saw my older sister, Sofie, securing her rose bonnet to match her sweeping pink dress. My heart lept. Sofie was in her church clothes. It was Sunday at last. I wasn't excited for church, of course. I had never been, nor did I have any desire to go. From what Sofie told me, all church was was a old man screaming at a group of well dressed folks about the Lord. No thanks!

It wouldn't matter how loud the preacher was anyway. I wouldn't be able to hear him. I am deaf. D-E-A-F. I remember the first time I saw the word. I was about 6 and I was sitting by the window, watching some children play as Sofie read beside me. I knew I wasn't like them at that point. I knew I didn't scream and shout like them. I knew I couldn't hear. But I didn't understand why I was to be kept inside. So I asked Sofie. She has always been the one with the answers. Whenever I had a question I would ask and she'd answer, writing it all down in neat letters.

So I asked her why I couldn't go outside and play with the children. She looked pained and pulled out a small blackboard and a piece of chalk. She began to write.

Ma and Pa do not want you out with them because you're deaf.

Deaf? I pointed at the word and a puzzled face. Sofie nodded and began writing again.

You are deaf. That means you can't hear.

I still didn't understand. I knew I couldn't hear. What difference does being D-E-A-F make? Why can't I go play? I motioned for the blackboard. I wrote in large, messy letters:

WHY DEAF MATTER?

Sofie looked very uncomfortable. She took the board back and sat deep in thought for a bit. She then continued writing:

Elias, our parents think having a deaf child' is shameful.

Then I understood.

That's the first time I starting to associate

D-E-A-F with S-H-A-M-E.

Sofie tapped me, shaking me out of my thoughts. She pressed the blackboard into my hands.

I made breakfast for you. It's downstairs. I'll see you once we return. Love you.

I nodded to show I understood. She gave me a brief hug and disappeared downstairs. I began to pull on day clothes, a pale blue button up and some brown pants. I began to allow myself to get excited, for it was finally Sunday. For three glorious hours, every Sunday, my entire family is at church and I have the house to myself.

My stomach grumbled, reminding me of my hunger. I went downstairs to find the rest of the Van Helder family all ready to go to church. But Sofie and my older brother, John, seemed to be fighting. When John saw me, he puffed out his stomach and leered at me as he licked his lips, like he just had an amazing meal. At first I was confused, then I saw my place at the table. All there was was an empty plate. John had eaten my breakfast. He's a such an ass! He always teases me and does things like this. I knew I'd get him back, though. Suddenly, Mother clapped her hands and Sofie and John stopped fighting. The rest of the family began to gather up their things and left.

Finally. I was alone. I grabbed some corn pone Ma had made and hastily ate it. Suddenly I had an idea. I knew how I'd get John back! I sprinted up to the attic and grabbed a broom. I raced to the corner of the attic and found just what I was looking for. A fat brown spider sat in the middle of a great web. I took the broom handle and spun it around it the spider web, gathering the web up, like I'd see Sofie do a thousand times. But instead of dumping it out the window, I raced down to John's room. It was smelly, and dirty just like John. I shook the broom over his bed and the spider fell onto his pillow. It scurried into the folds of his unmade bed. I felt a tinge of self satisfaction and replaced the broom in the attic.

I was so excited, because now was favorite part of a Sunday. Going to Abigail's house. She was my only friend. I went out the back door and leaped over the garden fence. This was not a loud. Ma and Pa were still very strict about me never leaving the house. So they never knew about my secret escapades over the garden wall. They didn't know about Abigail. That was my secret.