China sat on the bathroom floor. It was tiled with white tiles.
" Too clean." She thought to herself.
It reminded her of the rooms they'd put you in. In the psychiatric ward.
White walls.
White tiles.
White.
White.
White.
Boring. A bit like her life.
She twiddled the razor blade between her thumb and index finger.
Oh the temptation.
Its like it beckoned her.
One more cut.
Then they chirped in.
"Do it. End it all."
She struggled. It was hard. She knew that nobody would miss her. But for some reason she didn't want to do it.
She didn't trust herself.
She hated that feeling.
The feeling of hopelessness.
Though she felt it often. And tried to fight it.
Hopelessness had made itself at home in China's mind. It was a permanent tennant in the back of her brain. Like the annoying neighbour that never quite stops at knowing your business.
"Come on slow coach!" Sounded a voice from outside the door. "Some of us need to pee"
That was K China's roomate.
She didnt know why she had lodged with her but she had got used to it.
Before she moved in. She said something about taking care of a friend. What that meant China didn't know.
But she knew one thing. She had to get rid of the blade and quick.
She opened the bin and placed it at the bottom under some tissue so it was unrecognizable.
Suddenly a twinge of pain jolted through her hand.
Whilst swiftly putting the blade in the bin she had caught it on her palm. The cut was so thin she didn't even notice until it had started to bleed.
A lot.
"One sec." China shouted grabbing a plaster from the glass cabinet and pressing a towel on her palm.
She opened the door calmly. Towel in hand hiding the bloody mess on the other side.
"Its all yours" China said
"About time!" K sighed trudging into the bathroom and closing the door.
China sighed and walked back to her bedroom.
The cut was precise and streamline.
In a way it was beautiful.
China hid the towel under her bed. All she had to do was wait until K left and she could soak it in cold water.
She lay on her bed and waited.
