Kpop Imagines (On Hold)

#2 - Mark (GOT7)

Laughter fills your ears as you close your eyes and imagine the kingka gang in front of you. They must be amusing themselves with the cake-like figure that stood in front of them. There was egg in your hair, on your clothes, and worst yet, they had dumped a whole bag of flour onto you. It wasn't like it was anything new to you, but still, it hurt your heart every time he did that. You knew Mark since you were in elementary school. He wasn't like this before. You were close friends, and he'd always stand up for you no matter what. When others would laugh at you and call you names, he'd be the first one to defend you. But for some reason, ever since you both went to the same high school, he's changed. He hung out with the popular, cute guys that would make fun of you and pull dirty pranks on you every time you'd see them. 

"Hey, Aroa! Why are you just standing there? You mad?" he teased, snapping you back to reality and arousing laughter from his friends. When you didn't answer, he went up to you and kicked the trash can that was beside you down. Leaning closer to you, he lifts your face up with his finger. "Look at me, you filthy thing." You still close your eyes. "I SAID LOOK AT ME!" He grabs your hair and looks deep into your eyes. "Do you like me or something? Why are you always enduring everything I do to you? Do you have feelings for me, or are you just too pathetic to fight back?"

You hold your tears back in. Never in your life would you ever cry in front of this jerk. Instead, you spit in his face and stick your chin out, "Me? Like you? After all that you've done to me?" You roll up your sleeve to show the scars on your hand to him. You had nothing to lose. But rather than laughing at you and calling you useless and pathetic, he just stares at your wrist, eyes widened, as if he's reflecting on something. You push him and he falls to the floor. Glaring at him, you grab an egg on the floor and throw it at him. "I'm not too pathetic to fight back. I simply still treated you as a friend. I hoped you would change. But I guess I'm too naive. You just want me dead and gone from your life, don't you? Fine. Have it your way."

You pick up your bag from the floor and walk out the school doors. The rest of Got7 surrounds Mark and helps him up. 

"Are you okay?" asks Bam Bam. "I told you it wasn't a good idea to pretend to bully her. No matter how much you love her and want her to stand up for herself, what we did was still going overboard."

"What do we do now? Aroa looked really upset. Would she do something silly?" Jr. asks, scratching his head.

"Dammit," Mark curses as he punches the lockers. All he ever wanted was for you to know what you were worth, for you to be confident in yourself and smile. If that meant him being the villain to lure you to tell others how you felt, then he would most definitely do that. He'd do anything for you. But that just made you even more self-conscious. And those scars... They weren't there before. No matter what happened, you were strong... or were you? Suddenly, it all hits him. He thought that he was the hero, the man that could save you from your misery, but now it's because of him... you started to cut yourself. 

"Hyung? Gwenchana?" the maknae asks. Suddenly, Mark pushes his way through the crowd and zooms past everyone. "Hyung!" he hears Yugyeom yell after him. He didn't stop to tell them where he was going. He had no time. He was finally going to tell you how he feels.

You were in your house, alone. Why wouldn't you be? After all, your parents never cared about you, and it would have been worse if they were at home rather than at work. You glance at the razor next to you, on top of the toilet seat. It was tempting to end it all, but you didn't want to regret this one-way decision. Once you killed yourself, it was over. Even if you changed your mind last-minute, no one could save you. You look up and chuckle as a tear trails your neck. Who would even care if I disappear from this world? 

You let out a sigh as you plunge your wrist in the tub of water. The water was stained in red immediately, and slowly, you close your eyes.

"Aroa. Aroa." You hear a voice calling out to you. You are in a foggy, mysterious land. Where are you? Heaven? No, it couldn't be. People who kill themselves won't be allowed to enter the paradise of God... So what is this place? Most importantly, who's calling you? The voice sounds familiar, as if... you've known it your whole life. "Wake up," the Voice tells you.

"What do you mean?" you ask aloud.

"Your tale doesn't end like this. Wake up," the Voice responds. 

"Who are you? Why do you know my name?"

The Voice doesn't answer, but instead, another voice pops out, calling your name in the same manner, except less calmly. "Aroa! Aroa!" You reach your arm out to the second voice, just to see your scars. But... where were they? You examine your wrists, and see none of those hideous markings on them. Puzzled, you look around to see where the source of the voices came from. Suddenly, a hand taps your shoulder.

"AROA!"

You quickly open your eyes to see the last person you'd ever want to - Mark. Why is he even here? He hugs you tightly and smiles, relieved, "Thank God you're okay. I was so worried. I thought you were dead when I found you at your house. I don't know what I would do if you weren't in my life."

Remembering what had happened, you push him away. "Why? Are you scared that you'd have no one to bully anymore? That you would lose all your hobbies? You were the one who made me do this, and now you don't let me die? Is that the way you make my life miserable?" His eyes were filled with sorrow, and he put a hand to your face.

"Baby, listen to me. I..."

You slap his hand off, "NO! I don't want to listen to you! I hate you, Yi En Tuan! I don't know why you're here, since you obviously have no concern over m-"

He interrupts you with a kiss. You try pushing him away, and when that didn't work, you pound your fists against his chest, but he still holds you tight in his arms. Finally, when you become calm and aren't wiggling anymore, he lets you go and explains himself before you can say anything else. "I love you. I'm sorry for making you feel uncomfortable and indirectly creating those scars." He hesitated before saying the word "scar", as if it were forbidden to say it. "But I only wanted you to learn how to be proud and confident of yourself. I know I'm stupid, a jerk, an idiot. I don't deserve you. But I still want you to know how much I care about you. I don't expect you to forgive me or anything... I just want you to love yourself. Please don't hurt yourself anymore, Aroa. When I saw those scars, it left a scar on my heart as well. I'm truthfully sorry." You're speechless. You had feelings for Mark since Junior High, but you never told him, worried that he felt differently about you. Scratching the side of his neck, he looks sheepishly at you and says, "I guess I'll leave now. Take care. I won't interfere with your life anymore.  Bye." He turns around and you quickly grab hold of his hand.

"Don't leave," you mutter.

He turns back to face you, "What?"

"I... I love you too. Don't leave. If you want to compensate for what you did, stay by my side. I need your support."

"After all I've done to you? You still accept me?" You nod slowly, and a smile returns to his face as he runs to your side and hugs you. "Gomawo, Aroa. I promise you I'll love you forever, as if there was no tomorrow."

You laugh and wrap your arms around him. The Voice returns and whispers in your ear, "They'll someday disappear, the signs that remind you of your past. And when they do, cherish the present and only the present. Nothing else matters. Remember, they shall disappear, along with your pain and sorrow."

Somehow you trusted the Voice. You were not going to cut yourself anymore. There was no point in doing so anymore. Not when you knew that he would protect you and love you. "Thank you," you whisper back. The wind howls from outside the window, and you close your eyes. You want this moment to last forever, with him, with nothing to worry about. After all this, you finally understood that the only thing that determined your life miserable or joyful was yourself. It was how you saw it. And now, with the one you love, nothing was going to make you sad anymore. Nothing at all.