An Accidental I Love You

Thirteen

The spot, a place where Eleanor and Jullian had been meeting for years until... high school. And still, a place that still remains in their hearts. This place is where many memories have come about, and where many secrets were spilled, hidden in the locked safe in their hearts. Still, after 3 years their secrets still manage to stay contained in the rusted safe, not a single one spilling out. Eleanor has visited this place after the final ending of their friendship on nights she wishes she knew all the answers to why it had to happen until it started to deteriorate, much like Jullian's care for Eleanor.

Or so she thought.

・・・

Meet me at the spot, please.

I continue to stare at the message, my mind going to a million places at once. Why would he want to meet me at the spot, and what for?

And why am I here?

My feet pace in the dead grass as my mind continues to tell me to turn back, to go home, pushing the memories farther and farther back as they continued to push forward.

"Crazy how fast this place fell apart, do you know when the tree fell?" I look up to see Jullian walking towards me with a large hoodie on, the hood covering his head, his face covered by the dim lights on the nearby pavement.

"I haven't been here in 3 years so no, I wouldn't know," I deadpan, avoiding eye contact with him, kicking my feet into the grass growing between the fallen trees.

"Norie-"

"Just... stop calling me that," I say, turning around, pointing my finger to his chest, my voice getting louder, "stop calling me Norie, stop talking to me, and stop doing all of these stupid mind games to fuck up my brain Jullian! My god... yesterday, really? And this morning? Whatever your deal is you need to stop or at least tell me what the hell you plan on getting out of messing with me like this," I say letting out a forced breath of air, surprised at my own sudden outburst. I realize my staggering breath and quickly look up at him to see him staring right back at me, which I turn around, starting to walk away before he grabs my hand, making me stop in my place.

"I'm sorry, I'll never hurt you again, promise."

・summer going into 9th-grade year・

"Hey Norie can you come to the spot, please," Jullian begged as he sat on the broken-down tree, his legs hanging from the end, his shoes tangling in the growing grass. Eleanor was hesitant to this request, due to the fight they had a few days prior, but she agreed otherwise.

They were best friends, after all.

Their meeting spot was at the nearby creek that ran by both Eleanor's neighborhood and Jullian's new one, though they've been going for years, it seems like this was a sign they'd be able to be together for a long time, despite the new distance.

When Eleanor finally makes it to the spot she sees Jullian sitting patiently on the tree, looking around at the view in front of him. Eleanor attempts to be sneaky, ultimately failing when she steps on a branch, breaking it in half. "Oops," she mutters, a laugh escaping from both of their lips.

・・・

"Promises aren't a thing you're very good at keeping Jullian," I mutter, pushing the memories farther into my head. I start trying to pull my hand away from his grasp until he pulls me closer, my back colliding with his chest.

"I'm trying Eleanor, I really am," he whispers into my hair, his arms wrapping around my waist. "Just trust me, please," he begs, his grip tightening slightly around my waist, "please don't leave me," he continues to whisper when suddenly I feel something drip onto my back.

"Jullian?" I ask due to his sudden silence, which he replies with a sniffle. I slowly turn around to see his reddened eyes glossed over, a small frown on his face. My heart sinks to my chest when I push the hood off of his head, seeing the circles growing under his eyes and his nappy hair. "What happened? Why are you crying? How long have you been crying?" I start rambling questions as I wipe the tears remaining on his cheeks, him wiping the ones I never noticed have fallen down my own.

"Look at us, we're such a mess," he laughs, which I nod with a small chuckle coming close behind.

"Jullian but seriously, why are you crying and why did you want me here at 3 am?" I ask which he just shrugs, letting out a deep breath.

"I really fucked this up for us Norie," he sighs, running a hand through his nappy hair. "After yesterday I couldn't get my mind off of it, I can't. God I'm so stupid, do you see me right now? I'm going insane for you and it's scaring me, I don't know what's happening to me." He says as I slowly put my arms around him, engulfing him in a hug.

"It's okay," I mumble into his hoodie which he shakes his head, laying it on top of my own.

"You know it's not okay Norie, you just want to make me feel better, despite how you feel."

"I know Jewel."

••• Author's Note •••

I'M SOOO SORRY

firstly I know I said a ton of flashbacks but then I was thinking that it would be too excessive and she'd basically be going in and out of consciousness... unless she gets a concussion somehow OOOOOH SNAP lol if you want me to add that somewhere just tell me tbh and I'll probably do it because I'm just that extra (:

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY I know... I'm horrible. It's almost been 2 weeks without an update ew I'm gross and I'm sorry. I had realllly bad writers block and this is what I've managed to come up with from those 2 weeks... for some reason life is just not handing me any easy cards this month.

BUT ENOUGH WITH EXCUSES because I am truly sorry and I will do my best to update next week and weekly in the future, despite life trying to get in the way (does that even make sense?)

Anyways I know this chapter moved kind of fast and stuff but yeah... it was also kind of mushy and weird but whatever, tea will spill soon enough. And tbh I still don't know who I want her to end with... I could easily make it go either way YiKeS.

but anywho, thank you for the ranks and I love you all!

・originally published on August 19, 2017・updated on July 27, 2019・