I loved you. God i fucken loved you. And...i still do. but...you hurt me. So bad. like..it physically hurts to even think about being with you, or hearing your voice, or even hearing you name. The worst thing you can do is listening to me tell you all the fucked up shit in my life that's happened and then turn around and do the same shit. i told you some of the most darkest shit and..you turned right around and acted it all out again. But the worst part is, i didn't even know it would hurt a lot more the second time round. I didn't know it was gonna hurt this worse even after a couple months go by. I feel like i lost something i never even had in the first place. I mean did you even mean the stuff you told me? The I love yous and the You're perfects. All of it? Any of it? None of it...?
As much as i wish i could wake up with memory loss to before i even seen your face...i can't. So why even fantasize about it. I will always care about you, I will always check in on you without you knowing. But most of all, even after everything you pulled, i will always love you above anyone i ever meet in the future. No matter how badly you hurt me, no matter how much more you hurt me, ill always have a strong love for you. Because even if you never meant it when you said you loved me, i meant it when i said it. And to me that's all that counts to me. i know i kept things 100% real on my part. Ill keep my loyalty regardless how much someone hurts me. because that's just who i am as a person.
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Blogging and venting
Dobrodružnéyou guys dont have to read any of this its more of a open diary entry and blogging type of thing for for me to write how i feel, what i like to talk about. or even my personal favorite poems and quotes and stuff like that. read if youd like. its all...
