It's like I'm living in hell.I'm broken and I can't be fix by any one I feel the need 2 tell someone but I can't I feel all the things DAT then happen in the past n I just can't even get over that idk wat 2 I just want 2 kill myself I just……………...Ughhhhhhh its hard 2 explain nobody likes my mom they think well know that she's still the same person she was u know ok how my sister feel about her she just don't wanna tell me 2 make me upset idk y but she can tell me but supposedly she says she is confused no ur not confused she thinks something bad is going 2 happen when she's with her but nothing going 2 happen the only time she spend time. With her is 4 me or daddy n its killing me with all these liesssssss n hurt n madness n dishonesty I'm fading away u know I'm lost In a lot of situations I'm drowning deep down there's a lot u don't know about did messed up family but I thank god DAT n praise us all u know I have a lot of issues and I'm trying 2 contain them but idk how I just need…………..time IG I'm so ugly I try 2 think I'm not but honest 2 god I am very ugly with all these bumps on my face but I act all tough n all but deeply down I'm not I have feelings like everybody else I just hide it really good I'm so freakin idk wat I am I'm just mixed about everything in my life rn I just want 2 give up but I can't BC ppl need me in dis life so I can't I just have 2 give in n shoot out the bad things I just have 2 sleep on it dats wat I keep telling myself but like it never works what do did earth want from me I'm nice n crap i just want 2 screammmmmmmmmm n cryyyyyyyyyyy n also shoutttttttt everything just got me feeling this way no matter what I do it's just the same I'm tired being played wat do I got 2 do 2 do things right I'm just a wrong person in all types of ways I hear many voices and I learned the hard way 4 everything nobody's a help 2 me n I can't keep fighting it I'm done fighting it everything haunts me back n forth everyday 24\7 idk how 2 stop it I just need my dad he'll know right???? Idk if he will BC he's dead and I'll never know until I'm dead it's not like I like my step dad I just want my real dad I never seen him before well I can't say never I have but when I was little tho can u keep a secret? Well I can't it's tearing me apart I'm trying 2 be a different person I can't breath I'm out oxygen I drowning in water floating dying the only thing I can see is light at night from the moon my real dad pulling me out but I want 2 stay in the water y can I drown in the water n die ? Can u tell me that I just need 2 speak up yess but no I can't I just have 2 keep the past away no I can't do that either what should I do I'm feeling scared, lonely, sad and confused may my soul R.I.P , We're back again with the same feeling, I can't let go of anything in this world I just need help ...yes a lot if help I'll just pack up n leave no I can't ppl need me I think? I'm trying just cut me some slack I just ant i can't if they keep doing this like I feel sad,confused,helpless,angry etc I just think they could get to know her better before they say random things n there saying it just BC she is feeling bad doesn't mean she's lying,I've been feeling like dis since day 1 I just don't want help I just need all the hurt to stay n its had when ur step parents are talking about ur mom like she's not shit yea she was messed up when she had me but don't the care about my feelings to n I always think wat if she is dead n how would u feel now yea hurt I never told my sis about this because I like to keeps things private sometimes n sis if ur reading this I'm sorry I just needed to write this n I need to tell u how I really feel about life rn bc its killing me ................slowly I have to deal with this every single day of wat if n how could I fix it or I'm I good enough for this its just a lot dat I can't say to ppl cause they won't understand I'm a way I see it and when I do they just say oh maybe I didnt say it dat way or dis like bulshit
But um yea days how I feel I feel worthless
