The Journal

Entry #26

May 2nd 2020

For the longest time, I didn't really know that I was living in a world, born into a society that oppresses females in the weirdest ways possible. I found out, way too late in my opinion, that the unspoken rules that have been engraved into my mind, is not something everyone is following and not everyone has to be like that. I found out way too late that my voice was being taken away from me and not I'm fighting for it. I'm being called dramatic for wanting the same rights as my male counterpart, no matter how small the difference may seem. Honestly, though, I do not care. I don't want to have to bend over backwards just to please others, because I'm wearing a dress, or wearing heels and makeup. I'm done following the rules set for me just because I have boobs, just because of my gender. It took me years to see that society is oppressing me and I'm letting it happen because "what will people say?" People don't care about what I have to say so I'm not going to care about what they have to say to me. I am me. I want to be strong, I want to be seen, heard. I want my opinions to matter no matter what gender I am, no matter what people might say. I shouldn't have to try and fit into a society that is oppressing me and telling me I'm still not as valid as I could be. Defending that way of thinking by saying it was worse years back, does not make it more right. It still shouldn't have to be this way; I shouldn't have to act accordingly to what people expect of a female. I matter just as much as he does. My voice deserves to be heard and I am not going to stop fighting for it.

It is a subject that makes me angry because it took me so long to see it, to realise that I was being put under someone else, that I was made less valid than someone else, just because I have boobs. It is making me angry that people who are supposed to lift me and make me strong, are placing me beneath someone else just because of my gender. I'm angry that someone who I should trust with no doubt in my mind, has made me think that I should give my voice away to please others and that's a break in trust that I will never be able to replace. I am angry at you for letting me feel like I should be weak because that's what society wishes of me when I want to be strong. I am not letting you or anybody else decide what I "should" feel, try and control what I "should" do, dictate what I should say, how I look or how I hold myself. This is my life, my body and my decisions, period.

This anger is fuelling my desire to speak up, so that's what I'll be doing.