In Love

siete

-An- This was the song I was feeling while writing this🤘🏼Just in one of those moods.

Nay pov
I woke up and looked over to see if Alex was ok but she wasn't in the bed.  I got worried what if she is doing something bad to herself. I got out of bed quick running towards the kitchen area.
"ALEX WHERE YOU AT? " I got no answer after yelling. I started feeling guilty because she was under my watch now she's not even here. Wait my phone when I checked it there was a message from her and I peeped she changed her name.
Papialex😍☺️👅-  Dear nay thanks for letting me stay the night I needed some sleep. I'm sorry I just left without warning you. There's more to this message that your not going to like... I might move away from here, I like you so much but staying here isn't any good for me. I was a mess last night I tried to kill myself. It's too much but don't forget about me I'll be back soon love ❤️ thanks for being there. When  I get back I hope we can try again you know work on us!
- love papialex
P.s. Please don't hate me or be sad that I left remember I'll be back!

I clicked my phone off after reading that I just lay back down. I didn't realize I was even crying until I felt the warm tear rolling down my cheek while the next one waited to fall. I thought she would at least let me help her call me selfish i don't care I want here. Taking it slow with her was the best and now she is gone and I feel like shit. I feel like I couldn't even help her so she left. I hope where ever she's at she does great she most likely will forget about me anyways... I took my phone out and decided to reply to her message
Me- I thought I could be the one to help you. I wish you didn't leave you already won my feelings over and then you left. I know you just lost your grandmother and it's hard, believe me I know how it feels. I feel that where ever you went will be good ig most likely you will forget about me. So maybe I'll just say goodbye. Alex you are so cool and the best don't let anyone tell you different I hope you find the one where ever you are.💯
Goodbye Alex
Love me ❤️
Saying good bye was maybe for the best. I didn't think this shit would have me this sad like I didn't know my feelings for her progressed in some days. I got up headed to the shower, I looked in the mirror I looked so nasty I brushed my teeth and got in the shower and washed up. I got out put some my undergarments on and threw on some sweats and a white shirt. I grabbed my stuff and headed to Dina's  leaving my phone at home i don't wanna see it.
Alex pov
Staring at my phone I wasn't expecting that answer. I understand why I got that text but I mean, I'm not going to forget her she didn't let me explain. I did just leave without any warning though. She was so gentle and good to me. Nay is the girl I want not these hoes out here.💯 I just had to leave now I'm in Aruba about to spread my Gma's. Holding the urn close to me standing near the water I wasn't ready to let go yet.
  ' Hey grandma I miss you already. Man you was and still are the best. I just wanted to talk before I spread what i have left of you. I wish you were here to uhhh meet the girl I like. I know god has a special place for you and that you will be my guardian angel. I love you and I'm sorry for almost giving up on you and the girl I like and my friends. I would never forgive myself if I did that. I'm going to live my life to the fullest for you. I promise grandma Ima make you proud. I'll see you later grams I love you so much.... goodbye for now.' 
I looked at the urn in my hands crying and smiling i opened the top and let her free into the ocean. Goodbye Gma. I looked one last time wiped my tears and smiled walking away. I just kept walking and thinking about my life. The only girl I want is back at home and I left her. My bestfriend her girl.. they're there too.  I hope they know that this is what I needed. Time to cope, ill be back to them soon I just need my time. Sitting in the sand I watched as the waves slowly formed and then disappeared it was soothing. I layed back and just stared at the clouds... it's a good day to be alive...

-AN - I didn't proof read I Just wrote and called it a night it's 2 am here and I'm still up so... yea mind as well write. Sorry if it's short and that there's mistakes 🙄❤️