Lost Souls - Book 2 "Convergence"

Chapter 28 - Delirium's Gala

Marcus waited for the answer that, either way, would change his whole world. With each second that dragged by, his stomach sank lower and lower as Tabitha remained silent. The only thing keeping him from screaming was that she was still in his embrace. He hugged her tightly in hopes that his strength would convince her to stay with him...forever. When she'd rested her cheek against his chest, it took every ounce of his willpower not to tremble and betray the solid presence he wanted her to believe he was. He told himself that this was good, no sense in panicking, but in his heart, he was praying like a motherfucker that her silence meant she was considering his question and not trying to figure out how to tell him goodbye.

When he couldn't stand the suspense any longer, he leaned back, far enough so that he could look her in the eyes but not so far that he couldn't keep most of her slim frame pressed against him. Would he keep her there even if she wanted to go? His beast gave him a hell yes. The asshole never had any morals to start off with and Tabitha hit every obsessive compulsive button the bastard had. With the thought of her leaving sitting heavy in his chest, he swallowed hard and brushed an errant curl off her forehead. "Well, angel?"

She blinked once and all he saw was contrition. Combined with the slight quivering in her bottom lip, Marcus' world crumbled around him and all the blood rushed out of his head. His arms fell away, numb and lifeless and it was a miracle that he'd stayed erect because the floor had just dropped out from beneath him. She was going to say no. She couldn't trust him. Where the fuck did that leave him? Alone. That's where.

He hung his head in defeat. "It's like that then, is it?"

"No!" She blurted, shaking her head. "But I...I don't know." Sadness and confusion filled her eyes. "I'm so sorry, Marcus but I just don't know." She paused and wet her lips.

She was kicking his ass to the curb and all he wanted to do was suck on those gorgeous, plump lips. How fucked up was that?

Before he could get his frozen vocal cords to function again, Tabitha continued. "Well, that's not completely true." She gave him a shy, half smile and surprised him by running her hand down one of his limp arms. She picked up his hand and seemed to study it intently before placing it in the hollow between her breasts. With both her hands covering his, she pressed it over the thudding beat of her heart. "My heart has trusted you without question since the first day I saw you. It made no sense then and makes no sense now but it is what it is and not understanding it doesn't change that fact. But my head..." She gave a rueful whistle. "Now, that's a different story."

Her body heat warmed his hand and he could feel her heart racing like a jackrabbit...just like his own was doing. He didn't want to ask. Didn't want to hear the words that would take her away but he had to know. "Go on, angel."

When she looked up at him, her eyes shimmered with tears and his heart collapsed into dust, the pain, so sharp and bitter that it turned the air in his lungs into toxic ash.

"I barely know you, Marcus. Yet, in my heart, I feel like I always have. Does that make any sense?"

"Yes, angel. Believe it or not, it does because I've felt the same way too. Please continue."

"You asked me if I trusted you and the answer is yes...and no. If I wipe away these irrational feelings, then all I have left to go on is how you've treated me. I can't deny that you were there for me in my darkest time when I really needed someone. After..." A shudder wracked her body and Marcus instinctively drew her closer.

"He can't hurt you anymore, angel," Marcus whispered.

"I know that but it's still hard thinking about it." Tabby closed her eyes, breathing through the memory and drawing comfort from Marcus before looking at him again. The tears had begun to fall and her voice was thick with emotion. "After what Gerry did to me, I think it was you that kept me from going over the edge. You were there even when you weren't...after I pushed you away. You had every reason to forget about me but you didn't. You made sure I had what I needed to recover and you gave me the space I needed to do so." She studied him intently, trying to get him to understand what she was trying to explain.