Now, I know what you're thinking; "how did this all come to be?" Well, it starts of with a nice stroll through the forrest. The moon was in an eclipse, the sky was a shade of black with a mix of crimson, and I was aching for a bite to drink.
Hehe.
Get it?
Because I'm a nosferatu!? HAHAHAHAHAHA... I'm funny.
----Timeskip to a stupid priest vamp----
Priest: "so, you've arrived, but are far too late."
(Y/N): "huh?" I looked up from my phone, and saw the pedo-bear in front of me.
"Everyone here is already dead, except this young blood."
"
But trust me, I still plan to kill her."
"Mmhm."
"But first, I'm going to rape her."
"Neat."
"But before I can do THAT, I'm going to kill YOU."
I raised an eyebrow. "Oh? well, you see, that would be intimidating if you were... (chuckle) well, intimidating." I finished with a laugh. He seemed to be angry at my response.
"Grr... are you mocking me!?"
"Oh, no, no... pssh, YEAH."
*BANG!!* "shot through the heart!"
YOU ARE READING
A real fucking vampire
Humor(Y/N): uhhh... so, what the fuck am I supposed to do? just tell the people what this story will be about. (Y/N): okay... *a-HEM* The following is a fan-made parody. The original hellsing, hellsing ultimate is owned by Kouta Hirano, and hellsing ulti...