Chav-ster!

Chapter 1

Well, Conner is one of the chav-viest chavs in all of Glasgow, which is in Scotland, which is in the United Kingdom. Conner wasn't always a chav! Apart from his birth, he was a normal, average child. But, he wasn't a smart child and he also wasn't stupid. So he was average. 

Conner's birth was strange. Really strange. Where to start?! Well, Conner's parents, Darrell and Marie, were on a Mega-Bus journey from Glasgow to Aberdeen to Edinburgh. Now, I bet you're thinking; "Here we go!" I can tell! Anyway, they were just sitting in the third row in seats eleven and twelve. So, as you can imagine, he was born on this bus. 

The bus driver was just looking in his mirror, to see if the people were okay. When suddenly, he saw and heard Marie screaming down the bus. Other passengers told the bus driver to stop as the young lady (Marie) was giving birth. 

Five minutes later, Marie annunced to the whole bus that she had a baby boy. Then she announced that she was going to call him "Conner". So, the chav was born, on a Mega-Bus bus. 

When they got home, the Mega-Bus management team had heard about the birth of Conner and decided to give them "special treatment". For example, free bus journeys and things like that. So, Conner's birth was even better to Marie and Darrell than they thought it would be. 

So, Conner was born and Marie and Darrell were getting free bus journeys. What's better?! Well, that was all going to get worse again. You see, Darrell was in prison and was only allowed out because Conner was due and Marie needed support at that time. 

Now that Conner is born Darrell needs to go back to jail. Darrell still had six months to go, then he had freedom. If Darrell can show good behaviour he could get out earlier. Now, Darrell actually had a reason to get out of jail. Darrell was in jail because of a drug extravaganza - where he sold some to a "chef". It turned out that the "chef" was actually an undercover policeman. So, then he go arrested, again, for the fifteenth time in this sort of situation. I don't see why Marie married Darrell. Is it, two chavs can't separate or something, because the way Darrell treated Marie was shocking! Darrell fully punched Marie while she was pregnant with Conner. Yes, fully punched! So, now you can see the relationship between Darrell and Marie. 

Marie's not all that innocent either! Marie has had about twenty-three affairs, behind Darrell's back. In total,  Marie has had about twnty-seven affairs. Darrell found out about  four of them. Only four of them, but Marie isn't one to cover up things or delete texts or emails ect. Marie is not secrative at all. She would rather everybody knew about her "business" rather than it being a big secret. She certainly wouldn't be going around telling people nothing, If they ask, she tells. Anyway, back to Conner. 

Darrell had got out of jail for three days every two weeks to care for Conner. But, there had been an incident where Darrell did something that could have severely damaged his baby boy. 

Conner was one year and four months old. Darrell was looking after Conner at the time. He was holding him, giving him hugs and kisses, when suddenly, Darrell dropped Conner. DARRELL DROPPED HIS ONE YEAR OLD SON! Maybe that's why Conner's future was so, what's the word> Chav-vy, that's it! CHAVVY! Nothing had happened to Conner, meaning injury wise. When Marie returned Darrell had to explain to Marie the situation that occurred earlier, if you're confused, the situation that occured was the dropping of Conner. Anyway, Marie was furious and demanded that they went to hospital. However, his driving was exactly safe. Others (the mad ones) would disagree but most (the smart ones) would say that it was so unsafe that he shouldn't be on the road. For the second time in one day he had nearly killed Conner! Marie started screaming for Darrell to slow down, but that only made him speed up. Conner began crying, Marie started screaming louder and Darrell shouting at them to stop. They made it to the hospital - only just! 

They, being Marie and Conner - as Darrell wasn't going in as he was ashamed of showing his face after waht he did to Conner, went inside the big white block building. 

An hour later, Marie returened from the big white block building with Conner bandaged up on his head. While Marie and Conner were away, Darrell fell asleep. So, when Marie returned with the head-bandaged one year old, she had to hit the window for him to wake up. 

After ten minutes of window hitting, Darrell finally connected with the world again. Darrell let them in the car preparing for Marie's big "I Told You So" speech. When Marie got in the car Darrell went silent as she put Conner in his baby car seat. Marie sat down, eventually, and started talking. 

"I didn't mean to get all mad, but I was right wasn't I?" This was a rhetorical question of course. She continued...

"Darrell, I was boiling mad with you, but I think I've had time to cool off a bit. I'm sorry for losing my cool with you." Before Darrelll could get a word in, she moved over to him and gave him one of her signature passionate kisses. Once they were done, they began to drive off. Now Conner was in a more peaceful car journey.