10 Years Later
My dad never came back. I don't know if he's dead or alive. We were never told if he was. My mom believes he's dead. I honestly think he's still alive. I mean, he has to be. He said that he would one day come back home. He's probably still fighting. I hope that's the case.
I'm now 15. No friends. No girlfriend. I only have my mom and sister, Emma. I've helped take care of Emma since I was 7. She's probably the best person I know. Even though she's 10, she understands so much more than the average 10 year old.
I was laying in bed, looking up at the ceiling and sighed. I turned on my side and looked out side the window. All I saw was the back yard. I hated it here. No one liked me, talked to me and hardly ever looked at me as if I was invisible.
Someone knocked on the door.
"Come in." I said as I pulled the covers off my body and swung my legs off the edge of the bed. Emma walked in and smiled at me. I returned the favor. I stood up and walked to my dresser where my antidepressants and these other pills that helped with my anxiety were, popped one of each in my mouth, grabbed the water that was there and gulped. I turned around to look at my sister. She was sitting on my chair, playing with her fingers.
"What's up?" I asked sitting on my bed.
"Nothing. Mom wants to know why you slept in so late... She got worried." Emma said. "I got worried, too."
"Why?" I took another sip of water.
"We thought that you might have tried again..." She trailed off. I knew what she was talking about. I've tried committing suicide before and ever since then, my mom is always worrying. I tell her not to but we always end up arguing about it. I remember only one thing that she said to me on the night I woke up in the hospital,"Ben, everyone has a reason for living, you just haven't found yours yet but I promise, something good will come out of your life. You just have to be patient."
"Well I didn't. And I'm not going to." I sighed. She nodded.
"Hey, Ben?"
"Yeah?"
"I heard a conversation that mom had on the phone with aunt Helen." I looked at her. It's never good news when we hear conversations. "Mom is thinking about moving."
"Ok? What's so bad about that?" I asked.
"To Los Angeles in California." Emma said. I looked at her with shock. I didn't know if I should be happy or angry or what. My aunt Helen lives there and she doesn't exactly like me.... at all.
"Like close to aunt Helen?" Em nodded. I slouched and sighed. "Well fuck. Why?"
"Because of you."
"Why because of me?"
"Mom said that you need to get away from everything here. Ohio has never really been good to you, Ben. Maybe it would be good to get away. Maybe you'll have friends." She said truthfully. I stayed quite for a moment.
"But you have friends here, Em. You can't leave them because of me." I said.
"I'd rather leave my friends than to stay here and watch you be miserable." I didn't say anything after that. Emma sighed and walked out.
I laid back down and continued to look out the window. I heard the door bell ring. It was Emma's friend, Sophie. They were the best of friends since they were really little. I'm happy that my sister has a friend as good as Sophie. I'm mad at myself for practically taking Emma away from her.
I waited until I knew that Emma was gone so that I could talk to my mom.
I heard Em and Sophie leave with Sophie's mom and I walked down stairs. My mom was in the kitchen, cooking lunch.
"Smells good." I said. She turned around and smiled big at me.
"Morning." She paused. "Or afternoon I guess." She laughed.
"Afternoon." I smiled. "Hey mom?"
"Yes honey?" she said while starting to cook again.
"Em told me that we're moving to California." I paused. My mom stopped and looked at me. "Is that true?" She looked everywhere else except me. She finally sighed and spoke.
"I don't know yet. I'm thinking about it. But it's for your own good, Ben." She said.
"It won't solve anything. I still won't have friends, so what's the point of wasting money?"
"Ben, we have to." She said.
"That's bullshit." I said under my breath.
"What did I say about using that word?!" She shouted.
"Sorry."
"We're moving and that's final. Start packing because we're moving soon." I looked down.
"Whatever..." I said as I walked out of the kitchen. I walked up the stairs and into my room and plopped down on my bed.
I'm sorry, Emma. I tried.
