Letters From...

The Girl Who Fears Unacceptance

Dear World,

Every heard the word atelophobia? I'll tell you what it means anyway. It means the fear of imperfection or not being accepted. Not being good enough.

I am not saying I'm the only one who has it, so don't make me into the antagonist here. It's incredibly common. Everyone has it. Except...it's called anxiety. It's not a fear, it's a worry. Only a percent of the population has the crippling panic of never being worth it. And I can say from experience that it's not a fun feeling.

Oddly enough, most of the people with atelophobia - I find - go online and socialize and don't bother trying to fit in. Isn't it amazing how this proclaimed "evil" internet world can overcome fear and build up the broken?

It's strange. I preach for standing out; I encourage others to be themselves and never let anyone change them, but I'll be damned if I follow that advice myself. Irony is hilarious.

I panic everyday trying to act normal, trying to disappear in the background.

"If you act like yourself, they'll hate you."

"You'll never be good enough."

"You're a failure."

Surely, one of you out there have had actual voices in your head. It doesn't mean you're crazy, it means you're so scared that it's "manifesting" itself. (Don't quote me on that. I don't know your actual mental status.)

I don't know about you, but that's enough to have me lock my true self up until hell freezes over. Atelophobia is like anxiety, but with the intensity of a fighter jet. So if you're sitting there "oh, I have anxiety, so I have atelophobia", do me a favor and slap some sense into yourself. Do you think they'd come up with a fancy word for anxiety if it was the same thing?

Well, maybe.

But still! Just because you get nervous about what people will think of you doesn't mean you have a phobia. If you actively try to change your entire self to the point of self-destruction or panic attacks, then you probably have a crippling phobia.

For example- eating disorders.

But for those of us with atelophobia, we still have the internet.

Until the apocalypse.

From,
The Girl Who Fears Unnacceptance