Chapter 2 - Memories

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After the initial shock of all the memories flowing back into his brain he felt a little less unhinged, but he still could feel that now familiar empty feeling in his gut. He had composed himself as best he could, washing off the dried trails on his pail cheeks and a splash of cold water to the face seemed to pull his concentration back to his present predicament. Seeing his best-friends.

He haven't written them all summer, he could find the words, could make it sound convincing enough that he was still himself. He knew this would cause a small uprising from his friends. Silent treatment most likely from Ron and yelling that would swiftly turn into bombarding concerned questions from Hermione. He signed deeply trying his best to adapt to the cheerful demeanour he would have to sport for the next ten months.

Everyone was in the Great Hall by now and his absents would most likely earn him a consequence from an annoyed Mrs. Mcgonagall, Dumbledore would likely fill her in on the situation which was the last thing Harry wanted. He didn't want pity, he already had all the conversations with people he didn't even know, all of them giving their condolences, saying how Sirius was such a good man even though last year he was still referred to as a "ruthless, animalistic serial killer". He felt guilty for getting impatient with all the condolences but after a while they just dragged up all the pain that he had worked so hard to forget. He didn't want people to see him as "the one how had nothing", "they depressed, moody guy". He knew that the whole school knew his story, but did they know what he was feeling? After all he had kept it together quite well after the growing up as an orphan, being put down and ordered around all his life by the Dursly's. All the hostile encounters with Voldemort, witnessing the death of his allay, Cedric. Through everything he had never broke down like this. Dumbledore knew he wasn't alright, but as far as he knew, Dumbledore was the only one.

He didn't like that anyone saw that side of him but maybe there's a chance he can pull of the "I'm fine" act until he truly was, but how long would that be till then.

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He walked through the halls now deciding that he couldn't handle dealing with everyone at once. His arm reached back feeling around in the back-pack he had decided to bring, even though he would get a lot of strange looks at the muggle bag. His fingers felt the familiar fabric and pulled at it. He swung the I dark cloak over himself and made his way to the great hall intending to hear Dumbledore's announcements without drawing any attention.

He peeked in the door just in time as Mrs. Mcgonagall was calling the last few names of the first years, they all seemed so small and innocent. It was hard to believe he was once the Harry who could believe his eyes when he entered Hogwarts, who begged the sorting hat to not place him in Slytherin, who had the biggest smile he ever wore when he was chosen to be in Gryffindor. It all seemed like it was another life.

The last first year was called and sat nervously, "Gryffindor!" A relived and joyful look rapidly grew on the students face before she ran down to the Gryffindor and got the always welcoming greeting. Dumbledore stood up and began to speak.

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Dumbledore finished welcoming everyone to Hogwarts, intruding a few new staff members and going over the basic rules, he was finally done his speech and roared in a exited tone that resonated the hall,

"Let the feast begin!"

Dumbledore's eyes suddenly settled directly when Harry stood, Harry spun around to see if there was someone behind him that caught Dumbledore's eyes but there was no one there. He looked back up at Dumbledore. Dumbledore smiled lightly and winked, he could see Harry. He mouthed out words that Harry made out to have something to do with Dumbledore's office and assumed Dumbledore wanted to talk to him. Harry sighed, he had almost alluded any uncomfortable conversation, but now he would have to explain why he was crying in the door way.

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⏰ Last updated: Aug 17, 2017 ⏰

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