Ignore this book

Then...

Okay, I'm in trouble and I need help. I'm trapped in a cage, a cage somewhere in Australia, and I can't get out. Please, if you're reading this, help me. I needed to hide this message through layers of stupid, mindless dribble so that my captors would stop reading. I'm sorry I insulted your intelligence, but if you've made it this far, you have what's known as the Samson Complex. It's a big complex that basically says, "This kid right here is made of something different."

You possess the Samson Complex for a reason, and that reason is to change the world. The Complex was, in the old times, very common. People were changing the world left and right, but the world-changing scientists in their world-changing hospital beds thought that this was a dangerous complex to have. And it is, it certainly is a dangerous complex, but they thought it was so dangerous that it had to be eradicated from the human gene pool. The fact that you have it is extraordinary, because that means you're one in a billion. You are the rarest form of human being in the world. You cannot be swayed by petty politics, by aggravating news on the telly, by other people's nonsense. You have built into your very fibres something very special: a bullshit sponge. Seriously. That's the technical term for it. It's basically a part of your body that takes the bullshit out of your brain and sucks it up, turning it into all manner of things from blood cells to nose cartilage. It used to be incredibly well-known and active. Doctors used to rebuild tissue with it by turning on the TV and turning to the local news just as the politics section came on. The bullshit sponge absorbed everything the anchorman said and turned it into the tissue you needed. But since then they've surgically removed it from everybody and destroyed the Complex entirely. Except for a few people every generation. Including you.

I can't say who I am, I can't say where I am, I can't even say who's got me. But if you're reading this, you can figure out how to find me. And if you're able to do that, then please, do it. I'm stuck in here, they give me a meal a day, they kick me and sometimes even knock my cage around on its chain so it swings nauseatingly in the air. I need help. Your help. And if you can't help, nobody can. I will give you this clue: I'm high up in a skyscraper. And to find the next clue, go to the next chapter. You're my only help.