12:34 am
"so.. i think anti let me be, well, me for a bit just so i could explain that i'm ok with him being in my body. he's not harming anyone. and my viewers do love him quite a bit." he nervously laughs. i smile.
"your hair is brighter than anti's." i point out.
"probably because he's the darkness, i'm the light." he replies.
"but what about your girlfriend? signe?" i watch seans face drop slightly.
"she doesn't know about anti. she thinks he's an edit just like everyone else. only you and i know."
"you love her, don't you?" i regret asking that. i watch a tear fall from seans eye.
"i don't think i can ever fully love her. you know that supernatural beings choose particular people to be with. you're his soulmate."
"yeah i know that. i did my research." i laugh softly. seans face pales.
"it means you were my soulmate before you were his. that's why he chose my body. we have the same soulmate." more tears stream down his pale face. i feel my eyes start to prick with tears, the oh so familiar lump forming in my throat.
"oh." was all i could manage to say. we sat there in silence for awhile, silently crying, sniffling here and there. sean decides to speak up.
"i'm sorry."
"no no i should be sorry. and i really hope that um.. no i can't say that." i choke on my words.
"you're in love with him. i can tell." sean says.
"i shouldn't be. it isn't right. i feel like a homewrecker." my voice cracks at the word. sean gets off the floor and hugs me tight.
"no wait you can't-"
"shh i can, he isn't in control right now." i relax into his touch, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. i rest my face on his neck and sob.
4:42 am
i wake up on the couch, alone and with my comforter draped over me. i rub my eyes, still damp from crying.
"anti?" my voice breaks the silence i hated. i yawn. when i open my eyes, anti is sitting in front of me on the floor.
"hey sweetie, i'm glad you're awake." he smiles. i rub my eyes again and sit up.
"why didn't you just wake me?"
"because you looked really cute sleeping." he admits. i scowl at him.
"are you okay?? since when are you fluffy towards me."
"since you first became mine, a month ago today." he giggles. wow. it's been a month already?
"i think i'd rather you being a dick to me." i reply with strong sarcasm. i stand up and drag my blanket back to my room before flopping on my bed. i hear footsteps coming towards me.
"are you going back to sleep?" anti eagerly asks me, lying beside me on the blanket.
"yes. now leave." i turn away from him.
"are you still mad at me?"
"yes."
"will you ever forgive me?"
"probably."
"do you really want me to leave?"
"yes."
"oh."
"goodnight, anti."
"do you love me?"
i pause. did he really just fucking ask that?
"i can't answer a question like that after what i just found out, anti. now, please leave." i hear him sigh before getting off the bed and shuffling to the door.
"hey buttercup?"
"oh my god, what now anti??"
"i love you too."
this is really short oops