How (not) to love

Beautiful Stranger

"I saw the most beautiful stranger today."

"Oh yeah? How hot on a scale of 1-10?"

"Solid 14."

"Describe girl, describe."

"Well, when I looked at him I felt something rush through me."

"What in the everlasting fuck does that even mean?"

"Shut up let me finish."

"Gotcha, sorry."

"The way his eyes sparkled, he was full of life. He looked so incredibly happy. Like he was ready to take on the world."

"Um okay I meant describe how hot he was, not profile him and tell me his emotional status. Can't you be normal and give me something like 'holy shit he had hot brown hair and blue eyes and he was taller than the highest shelf in Urban Outfitters that always has the cute clothes you can't reach.'"

"I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that."

"Deny deny deny."

"Anyways, he walked with confidence. He made it feel like reaching out and touching him was impossible to do."

"I really hope you didn't try that."

"He was a perfect stranger."

"Damn why do you always get to see the hot guys in public and when I go to the mall I see a fat nothing except teenage girls that look like they could fuck someone up in a group chat."

"I wish I hadn't seen this stranger."

"Why?"

"Because the minute I saw him my heart shattered into a million pieces, just like the day he left me out in the rain and acted as if I never existed. As if I was never a vital part of his life at any given point as he was mine."

"Oh shit, this whole stranger thing was one big metaphor, wasn't it?"

"He was my home."

"He was never worth it."

"See, people tell me that all the time. They tell me that he wasn't worth it, that he sucks, that he's an asshole. It doesn't fix anything. I've missed him for so long, everything reminds me of him. I see him in everyone I pass, every smell that hits my nose, in every laugh I hear as I walk down a busy street. I can't escape him. It's like he still has me in an airtight grip. How can someone have such a strong hold on a person, even after intentionally letting them go and turning the other cheek?"

"I think you need find someone who will make you feel more like a human being rather than a pair of shoes you grow out of."

"Yeah, I guess. I gotta go."

"Hang in there."