Beautiful People Beautiful Problems ↠ zarry

Entry 51

15/02/2017

I guess, in part, I wasn't really lying when I said that it was all about maturing. In life, you have to do it and with maturing, comes understanding and letting go.

Letting go may - it does, it will always hurt a lot but you don't have to forget once you let go and you don't have to be angry anymore. There's only pain that comes from anger, so in saying that I think what matters is: what it is that you let go off, not who. Letting go of that anger was what needed to be done because it was like crushing a flower and then trying to put the petals back in place without a wilt or wrinkle in sight.

It may be a stale staying, but time really did heal wounds. Not in the sense that anyone was completely recovered and good to go, no. It will always be with us - a part of us - but it gave me better ways to cope with things, it understands the ups and downs and doesn't care about if I backtrack on my way forward... I understand things (some things - not all) now... this is just all a part of life.

I couldn't really forget about Zayn ... Being friends with him, putting whatever relationship we had aside, he was one of the best people I had in my life - and we both didn't have many of those. So, it was stupid to just try and write him out. It was wrong of me to be a dick towards him, have my friends be dicks towards him.

Love is a double edged sword, it either goes right and leaves your heart bursting with joy or, horribly wrong - but you have to risk it.. most people are willing to take the risk and I'm glad that I was one of them. Because the thing is, even when it can go horribly wrong, our hearts are resilient enough to heal if we allow it to. You can't let the hiccups of life turn your heart hard, and Zayn showed me that from day one, his heart always stayed soft - to this day, in times of heartache or anything, it stayed soft. I just didn't take notice.

Zayn helped me realise and understand that you don't protect your heart by pretending that it doesn't exist.

'It's the halves that halved us in half, where all of our gory bits were exposed for the taking.'

I get it now.

One more chapter to go xx