The Trials and Tribulations of Me

Chapter Eighteen

I jumped awake. I took in my surroundings not knowing where I was. I looked around the room some more until I realized I was in Lincoln's room. Everything from yesterday came flooding back to me. I cringed not liking what happened as pain gripped my body. My marriage was a total unknown at this point. I didn't know if Lucas was going even want to stay married or if he would pick his mother over me. His mother had a powerful hold on him and I didn't know if that could be broken. I wanted to believe he would pick me but at this point I didn't know anymore.

The door opened and Lincoln came in carrying a tray of food. "I see you're up."

"How long was I out?"

"Well it's ten right now."

"I guess it's a good thing I hired Marco." He sat down on the bed next to me.

"So what's up? Why do you keep running back here?"

"I don't want to burden you with my problems."

"It' no burden, now tell what's up."

"Basically Lucas' mother has been staying with us and she has been constantly down talking me and the worst part is the fact that Lucas won't stand up for me." Just saying that out loud made me sad. More than anything though I was pissed. I was pissed I had to go through this just to get a point across.

"So what you gonna be staying here for a while?" I shook my head no. I didn't know what was going to happen but I wasn't going to stay here.

"I can't. The last time I hid out it only made things worse." I got out of the bed and put on my shoes. I needed to get out of here. Too much was happening and I needed someone I could talk to.

Once I was done I stood up with him right behind me. He grabbed my hand making me look at him then stroked my cheek. "You know I would never treat you like that." There was something in his eyes that I couldn't read. To me he was a good friend but I couldn't read what he wanted.

"What?"

"I would stand up for you no matter what." I moved my face from his not liking what was going on. Maybe I shouldn't have come here. I thought Lincoln understood we were friends now. That dating between us was not an option. Hell I was married. I stepped back to put space between us.

"That's because you're a good friend." His face dropped slightly only to quickly recover.

"That I am."

Instead of going home I went to Blair's. She was the only person that I could think of that would be unbiased towards my situation. I knew she would tell me the truth no matter what and that's what I needed right now. I needed someone to tell me what I really needed to hear.

Blair opened the door shocked to see me. "Am I in trouble?"

I laughed. "No, I just came to talk if that's okay." I didn't know if Blair would want to talk to me like this or would just want to keep it a work relationship.

"Sure come in but my place isn't that big compared to that house you live in." I walked into her apartment looking around. It wasn't anything fancy but it was comfortable.

"I've lived in smaller before the money started rolling in." I followed her into the kitchen where we sat down at a table. She gave me a bottle of water and I stared at it not knowing where to start. "Thanks."

"Sure. Now you did you want to talk about."

"A lot of shit has been happening and I need someone not involved to tell me what to do. I seriously need some advice."

"I'm all ears." I sighed spilling my guts to her. I told her everything I had been going through. It felt good to get everything off my chest. Everything felt like it was weighing me down and slowly pulling me under. I couldn't understand how I was always the one picked to suffer. How I was always the one chosen to have to fight. I was tired of fighting. I was tired of being the punching the bag. I was just so tired.

"Damn that's heavy." She sat back looking at her hands.

"So am I wrong or do I have a point because right now I'm lost."

"I can understand where you are coming from but you need to have a serious talk with Lucas about how you're feeling." I nodded.

"I've tried but he won't listen."

"Well I think he's listening now. I mean you gave him back his ring for Christ sake. I think he got the point loud and clear."

"Maybe." I still wasn't sure what to do or if things would get better. I wanted everything to go back to how it was. I wanted to go back to when Lucas and I got married and we spent the night making love until the sun came up. We didn't leave the bed for a whole day. I was on cloud nine that day. Every time I looked at my ring I smiled outside and inside.

I went to the shop to further clear my mind of everything. The shop had a way to make everything better. I was allowed to throw myself into my work and forget about everything. I needed that right now.

As I was rolling out the dough Lucas came walking in. "I thought I would find you here." I didn't look up. I didn't want to see his face right now. I needed time.

"How did you get in I locked the door."

"I have a key, remember?" I still didn't look up and kept doing what I was doing. "Where did you stay last night? I checked with Raquel and she said she hadn't seen you. The same with your parents."

"I stayed at Lincoln's." I could instantly felt his anger transfer over to me. He hated Lincoln.

"You spent the night at that niggas house?" he stepped forward showing his power.

I calmly looked up. "Yes, do you have a problem with that?"

"First you take off your damn ring and then you go and spend the night with a nigga you used to date?" his voice went high with just a little bass at the foundation.

"That nigga was the only nigga that stood by me when you couldn't be bothered to."

"I put my mother in a hotel is that what you want to hear?" I looked down then back up processing what he said. Was that enough for me? I wanted that to be the end to everything but something in me wouldn't let me let that happen. Too much had happened for me to just nod everything away. Just because he had put her in a hotel didn't change anything. That was just a final step to him finally being a man. Being a husband. But I needed more. I needed more than her in a hotel. I needed to know he was on my side. I needed to know I didn't have to worry when she came around because he would put her in her place.

"What I want to hear is that you put your mother in her place. That you told her to watch her fucking mouth. She sat at that table and talked about our dead baby like it was nothing. And you did nothing. I want to hear that my husband finally grew some balls." His face went cold at my words. I knew I had struck a chord but I had to. He wanted me to act like his actions just erased everything. He wanted me to forget what that bitch had the nerve to say. What he had the nerve to let her say. I was done playing foolish and soft. If he wanted this to be over then he needed to end it. He needed to tell her what she could and could not say or else I would be forced to handle her myself and he did not want that. Because if she said another thing about my baby she was going wish she never did.

"So that's how you feel," he finally said.

"I wouldn't have gave you back your wedding ring if it wasn't." I attempted to walk around him but he grabbed my arm.

"I love you." His face was back to the soft Lucas I fell in love with. That was my weakness.

"Act like it."

"She's my mother Samaria I can't pretend like she's not."

"I stepped up to my mother. You can't keep using that same tired excuse because it's not working, it never worked and frankly I'm tired of hearing it."

"I don't know how to stand up to my mother."

"That's your problem, not mine."

"I can't do this without you Samaria. Come home and I will prove to you that I love you."

"Oh, I'm coming home but not because you asked me to but because your mother is gone and the only way you can prove your love right now is by standing up to your mother."