DESTINED AFFECTION

TWENTY FOUR

With a gasp, Camila came sharply awake in the dark, her skin still tingling from the electrical discharge. She hadn't felt the cardiac irregularity that had triggered her defibrillator, but her body had registered the erratic heartbeat followed by the synchronizing current. Camila was instantly thankful that Lauren, still curled against her, had not been awakened by the shock. She did not want Lauren to worry about what could not be changed.

The third time this week. Christ. It's supposed to be getting better, not worse.

Turning her head carefully, Camila checked the clock once again and saw that it was after five. Now that her breathing had returned to normal and the writhing anxiety in the pit of her stomach had abated, she gently eased away from Lauren and toward the edge of the bed.

Unconsciously sensing Camila's withdrawal, Lauren tightened her grip and then rose through the layers of sleep to open her eyes and inquire groggily, "What are you doing?"

"I have to go home,". Camila replied in a whisper. She stroked her fingers over Lauren's cheek and then into her hair while leaning down to kiss her possessively. "I shouldn't be here when Phyllis arrives and Kyle wakes up."

Fully awake now, Lauren sat up in bed, the sheet falling away to expose her nakedness. "God, is it morning already?"

"Just about." Sitting on the edge of the bed and casting a glance around for her clothes, Camila sighed. "Where the hell are my pants?"

Lauren smiled, remembering her pleasure in stripping those jeans off Camila's hips the night before. Still hungry for the touch of her, she leaned against Camila's back, her cheek on Camila's shoulder, and circled one arm around her waist. She fanned her hand over Camila's stomach and began to rub slowly up and down, using her nails intermittently to coax the muscles to twitch.

"On the floor somewhere," Lauren replied languidly.

Camila groaned. "You can't do that. It makes me so hot I can't think."

"Really?" Lauren's tone was completely ingenuous. "I never noticed that."

"Like hell." In defense, Camila grabbed Lauren's hand and stilled the torturously wonderful caresses. "We don't have time."

Time, It echoed in Lauren's mind. Too little time. Lost time. Gone before it was time. She curled her other arm around Camila's waist and brought both palms up to cradle Camila's breasts. She didn't caress her or tease her now, but merely cleaved as tightly to her as she could. As if holding Camila within the circle of her body could make time stop.

Camila raised her hands to cover Lauren's, linking their fingers against her skin. "What is it?"

Wordlessly, eyes tightly closed, Lauren merely shook her head and pressed her cheek harder to the back of Camila's shoulder.

"Baby, I can feel you hurting. Tell me."

Lauren's voice was a whisper, the words so hard to admit. "I don't want you to go. I don't want this night to end."

Surprised not only at the sentiment but also by the admission, Camila turned slightly until she could cup her fingers beneath Lauren's chin. "Why? What do you think will happen?"

"I don't know," Lauren replied, her eyes dark pools of anguish. "All I know is that you're here right now and that later...you might not be."

...hit her in the back of the neck. Just like that. From one second to the next...she was here, and then...she wasn 't.

"Oh no," Lauren murmured, pain lancing through her. She framed Lauren's face in gentle hands and kissed her forehead, then her closed lids, then her faintly trembling lips. "I'm going to go home and shower, and in a few hours, I'd like to come back so that you and Kyle and I can go to the zoo together. Tomorrow, I'll see you at work and then in the evening at soccer practice. Some night later in the week, whenever Phyllis is free to watch Kyle, I'd like it if you'd go to the movies with me. Next weekend, I'll coach at the game and then we can all rehash our victory at Ally's and Perrie. That's what's going to happen after I leave here this morning."