In the beginning it was okay she was a happy little girl even though she grew up in poverty she was as happy as can be as the years went on and the little girl grew things started changing her sister became meaner her mom more distant at 8 years old her childhood was ripped away as she was sent away she didn't understand thoughts started forming questions were being asked like does my mommy not love me anymore why have I been sent away am I not wanted as a daughter anymore. No child should feel this way after 6 long months she finally went home just to be told she's leaving again she was just 9 years old shipped away from home 2 short months later she was home but the once happy lititle girl was to far gone at such an early age she learned to build walls from her once loving mother who was long gone to see the pain and hurt in her little girls eyes one short year later the girl was gone again this happened every year till she 14 years old at this point the young teen had already decided she wanted no part of a broken family she had already begun smoking and drinking her pain away at 14 she was shipped away but this time she stayed away longer then normal. So she started asking herself once more why does my mother send me away am I not the daughter she wishe's me to be should i continue on caring or should I just fade away should I even have hope that one day she will see me for who I truly am or will I just continue to be a disgrace to my broken family brother is grown and to far gone sister is gone and making a life for herself I am the only one left to fend for myself at 15 I come home a changed girl deciding then to never be hurt ever again by this broken family I was born in 3 long years later I am leaving my mother behind to finish my senior year off at another school to better myself and finally be happy again but sadly the venom followed oh did it follow deppresion anxiety and so much more thoughts run rampant throughout my mind things like your fat, stupid,ugly, and dumb were just the start then came along you should just kill yourself every one will be better off who needs you really needs you in there life just do it one fatal cut to the throat and you'll be happy trust me I can make you happy with razor blade in my hand I count down from 5...4...3...2...1 i can't I can't I cry I can't leave my family more broken then it already is as I sit in my closet crying I realized I had little ears in the room sound asleep in his crib and i decided then and there I wasn't gonna leave him like I was left he will never see a broken family like me so I pushed my feelings aside for this bundle of joy that I loved so much I was determined to never let him see me broken I will not be torn down and disregarded I am a warrior strong and steady. Until My 19th birthday when I told my mom I was into girls I was once again torn down being jumped on and judged for who I was by the very people who once made me feel safe they were now saying I was A disgrace putting down on faith am I not still a child of God do I not still worship and pray to the father God almighty all because I am gay does not determine or change my ways it's back to a broken family and this time I will not be sucked back into it I am who I am and i will not be bullied into thinking any other way my faith and friends are all I have left I will not be Broken I will stand tall I am no longer broken or shattered I now help people who go through the same as me.
