I am not thinking straight.

I am here for you

I went to the show. This time, his phycology was so messed up. The whole show was about Suicide,Depression and Anxiety.I was so upset. I nearly cried. I could not believe that Jimmy was suicidal.Tonight, he was nervously moving, his voice cracked million times, he was fidgeting in his chair, he was sweating as hell,and last but not least, his eyes were.... emotionless. Like the Devil took his soul away from his body....When the show was over, I got up and started running on the hallway , heading to Jimmy's dressing room. I knocked the door. I received No response. I knocked for second time. After 5 minutes, Jimmy finally opened the door."Oh hello pal. Wanna take a picture or something?" He told me as he was nervously smiling, trying not to show his genuine feelings. " Jimmy I know that you are suicidal. Stop hiding behind your finger...My dad is a psychologist( I had to lie because I didn't want to show him that I searched his symptoms on Google ) and I talked to my dad about you. Look, everybody is facing a lot of problems every now and then.For example, me. My parents divorced 10 years ago. I don't have happy memories. Well, i didn't even feel like a child. I matured way too fast.My stepfather was violent towards my mom. He was hitting her and other stuff. Then they accused my father of beating my mom up to death. So the adjudication was to sentence my father to 10 years in prison if he ever again hurt them ( he never hurt them ).I live with my dad because my stepfather Called me and my mom "filthy whores"because I told him "STOP TALKING SHIT ABOUT MY DAD " See ? Even now I have these bad memories lingering inside my  mind but, I don't want to kill myself. I stayed strong, thanks to my dad and to my family. They were by my side and they believed in me. But I owe you a lot Jimmy. Because when my stepfather and my mother were quarreling ,you were there for me,comforting me and giving me strength and reasons to smile. My first reason to smile is You. You light up my world. I love you so much. Please don't kill yourself.Your fans need you. Nancy needs you. Your beautiful daughters need you.I WAMT YOU TO STAY ALIVE. STAY ALIVE." That was the moment I had a mental breakdown. I started crying. Jimmy was thinking about the consequences of his future action...He was thinking about the drama he would cause.That moment, he hugged me tight and started crying, against my shoulder.