Hello. I got this diary to express my thoughts. I am not allowed to express myself in any way, as I am a woman. Singing and dancing is considered sinful, and writing poetry is a sin. Everything you do should be focused around him. God. If not that means there's room for the devil.
I got this diary from the school where my 3 oldest brothers go. I said I was picking it up for Lucas, the oldest of the brothers. I know I lied, that's a sin, a horrible horrible sin, but I had to. The school wouldn't give a note book to a girl, no point.
The only reason I know how to wright is because I learned to read, so I could read the Bible. Once again, it's all about him.
I have 9 siblings 5 girls and 4 boys. My father was mad when the first three children my mother had were girls. He wanted a couple boys so someone could inherit the land and farm. He's never said this but I know he wanted multiple just in case something happened to the oldest.
Our small community is very close. Our congregation is small, 60 people and 12 people are my family. I have the option of 58 people to find a husband. 22 of those people are women, so I have 36 men to pick out of. 1 is our priest, 3 are older that 45 which makes them to old, and 9 of those men are married. So I have 23 men to pick from, and so do my 5 sisters and so do the other 12 eligible ladies in our church.
23 men.
I got yelled at today for humming while sweeping the floor, I had to repent for hours. I can't help it but my mind always wanders to something else, or someone else. I know lust is a sin, but I am fond over this boy I've seen at church.
He is taller than father but shorter than Lucas, he has orange flaming hair (which people say is the color of the devil.) and a little bit of facial hair. You can tell he isn't a house worker like me, he has defined muscles, the shirts his mother makes are almost immodest, they look so good.
Oh shame on me... how could I think like this...
I know his name is Leonard, I've heard his sister call him Leo.
Leo Leo Leo Leo Leo
I've never spoken to him. That would be immodest of me, but during church I sometimes catch his eye, his
