Chapter 9

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Dear Diary,

Today was well... interesting. I decided to put a note in Cassie and Amanda's lockers, both saying the same thing..

I figured I owed them apology and stuff like that, even though they absolutely hate my existence..

The notes read:

"Hey. Truth is, I miss you. You were always there for me and I wanted to thank you both for that. I am sorry that I am not good enough and I'm sorry that we aren't friends anymore. I am sorry I am such a humiliation. I am sorry.

I know you probably hate me, everyone does, and you probably won't talk to me ever again. I'm not expecting this note to make you become my friend. I just figured I should apologize.

Am I really that easy to forget

Love you...?

-Bella"

As I walked down the hall today, it was like I didn't even exist. Jayson looked at me, smiled but then ran into class. I try to smile, but it isn't even worth it anymore.

I only wish Harry could come and save me from the pain, but I know it will never happen. he is out living his dream, not knowing that our father is a monster. I hope Gemma doesn't come home to visit, I don't need her to see me like this, because then she will question dad and she would be basically murdered.

I just want my escape.

I just want it to be like before he left, but it won't happen.

This is how I'm living.

Trapped.

No way out.

No escape.

You scream, you cry, it's not even worth showing emotion.

The only time I cry now is when I can't withstand the pain anymore, but I don't cry in front of people, I cry alone, because I feel that when people see me cry, they see me as attention seeking, and fake.

I will write again tomorrow,

-Bella

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