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Jimin angst
There, stood before me, my one and only friend. Beating all the guys that dared lay a hand on me, alone. While I stood here, doing nothing, so useless, so worthless. Even thou I badly wanted to help, that would just make things worse.
'Why do you always stand up for me?'
'Why did you turned the title "The most charismatic" into "The most troublesome"?'
'Is it because of me? Or is it because you pity me?'
Having enough of it, I made a dart towards them, pushing through my schoolmates, who just stand there doing nothing, some even dared record the scene. Seeing him all beaten up makes me teared up.
'Oh how stupid I am to let him do things so recklessly'
I Immediately pulled him away from the boys and away from the crowd before someone could complaint to the teachers. I led him to the clinic so I could treat his wounds, settling him down on one of the tables before searching through the cabinets. Settling things down on the table beside him, I delicately dabbed his bruised cheek with wet towel. Wincing from my touch, guilt starts to fill me up as tears started to formed in my eyes.
"You've done enough, please stop doing this for god sake"
I begged as I laid my head in the crook of his neck, hands still holding the wet towel, letting it slide down his chest. His muscular arms wrapped around my body tightly, not saying a word. Embracing the warmness of his body as I sobbed louder letting my tears wet his shirt. And before I knew it, darkness starts to overwhelm my sight as I let sleep take over. With his arms protecting me from the outside world.
Why do you always stand up for me?
Why do you always cause trouble just for me? Protecting me too much that you even risk your life saving mine. You almost lost your's when I accidentally crossed the road without looking at the stoplight and you happened to be there. And remember when we were kids, a boy cut my hair and made me cry so hard and when you found out, you forced him to cut his own hair in front of the kids. Well thats the very first time you stood up for me. Ever since we've met when we were kids, you started being like this.
I hate you for always choosing someone first before you. I hate you for always thinking that you're not enough. I hate you for always treating yourself like a trash. I hate you because you despise yourself.
Why do you always look for others if you can't even take care of yourself? Risking your life so you could save someone else', does that even satisfy you?
And more importantly, Why do you hate yourself so bad?
All this questions left unaswered yet there's only one thing that I know.
"I owe you one Jimin, it's my turn"
--------------------------------
7 years later~
Many things changed drastically. My parents divorced each other with me being left with my mom. My dad remarried a woman who happened to have six ex-husbands after a few months later causing my mom to lose her job due to depression. She became alcoholic, always bathing herself with her newly favorite partner, vodka. Inviting her friends to play poker. She even taught me one so she could play all the time. And to make it worst, she always put the blame on me whenever something bad happens. Always calling me 'useless' when all she does is lay on a pool of empty bottles all day. I even have to do part-time job just so we could earn money in order to survive.
