What It Means To Be Me

He's useless...

...hasn't shifted.

Kill him...disgrace...

...few more days.

No...the alpha has spoken.

...honey, you need to run.

Son, don't ever come back.

Stop him!

Run, Tanner!

~Tanner~

Light flooded my vision as I jumped to my feet, knocking my head on the hollowed-out tree trunk above my head. Snow trickled down to lightly coat the already thick blanket in front of my paws.

Nnnn, ow.

Flopping back down onto the frigid ground, I huffed a sigh and looked outside my pathetic excuse for a den. The cold already had me shivering, but at least it numbed to the itchiness I usually felt. I had no idea why half of my fur had fallen out or why I was always so itchy, but there wasn't much I could do about it. Swimming sometimes helped, but in the winter, that could be deadly.

After a few strong sneezes, I got up again, being sure not to hit my head this time, and carefully sauntered out from under the old tree where I'd had taken shelter the night before during the snowstorm. Everything was covered in a blanket of white, and icicles hung precariously from the dormant oak trees overhead. The forest really was beautiful, but after living in several different ones by myself over the years, I had come to know its more sinister side. Nothing was ever safe, and if a human was ever sighted, the only rule was to run faster than their bullets.

When I was a puppy, I came in contact with them on several occasions, before I learned how to avoid them altogether. Each time ended with me running for my life, and the last time was still fresh in my mind—I glanced back at my injured back leg and whined. I wasn't sure what was wrong with it, but I couldn't use it anymore and it had hurt so badly that I basically kept it pulled up against my haunches. That's where it had healed itself, so the limb was completely useless now. Over the season that it had been injured, I quickly realized my hunting ability had dropped to the point where I was eating lizards and bugs to survive. I didn't find them disgusting, but the taste wasn't nearly as good as deer or wild turkey. My strength had also decreased with the loss of my main food source...which led me to where I was at the moment.

It was a dangerous place being near a human town, especially since I'd been there for several days, but I was just too hungry to go elsewhere. Pets were such easy meals, and as long as the humans didn't see me, they shouldn't be able to catch or shoot me. Just the thought of having another meal made me begin to drool as I stumbled through the thick snowbank that led into the human town. I needed to go keep to the outskirts like I had last time I hunted and wait until I heard barking or saw someone letting their dog out into an unobstructed yard.

It only took me a short while to come across a little white fluffy dog that had just been let out to go bathroom in an open yard, perfect. After a quick look around, I bolted for the dog, easily catching it even with my useless leg. Human pets were always so overweight and easy to catch, not to mention that fat was really important for me in winter.

"Wolf!"

I was retreating from the backyard with my kill when I heard a door creak open and a scream echo through the night. Shit! Thankfully the human was an old woman so I easily escaped, but it was never good to get caught taking from people, they often sent other people into the forest to look for me, which forced me to hide for days to stay alive.