What It Means To Be Me

They Aren't for Eating?

For the next few seasons, I wandered about the woods, though this time my intentions were different than just surviving. Granted, that was important, but I also wanted to learn. Being with Cole, even for such a short time, had taught me so many things that I hadn't known, and the thirst for information drove me closer and closer to humans. It was dangerous while in my wolf form, but I still didn't feel comfortable letting my human-self out much yet. I could walk in it... kind of, and talk in simple sentences, but I'd grown up as a wolf. It felt so much more like me then my human likely ever would.

During one especially chilly night, I found myself sauntering around the outskirts of a large town. There was a good supply of wild deer in the preserve not a mile away so it was a pretty nice spot for my wolf as well as my human. I had stolen clothing from hikers awhile back and hidden them in an old abandoned fox den for when I wanted to try being human near other ones. Deciding that the time had come to try, I shifted and stood in the knee-deep snow, immediately wanting to back out of the trial. It was freezing, and I had taken clothing for warmer weather. Before I could talk myself out of it, though, I quickly knelt down and reached into the den, snagging the clothing and pulling each piece on like I'd seen Cole do a few times when I sneaked into his room when he wasn't paying attention.

The sudden memory had my fingers pausing on the bottom of the dark red shirt I'd just tugged on. My heart felt heavy at the thought of not seeing him again. We might have fought, but he could have learned that it was okay to submit to me. I wouldn't have hurt him. The memory of that specific night sent a chill down my spine that made the cold air around me feel like I was overheated in comparison.

Mine...I didn't mean to do it.

Grinding my teeth together, I kicked a good chunk of snow into the tree above the den and began stomping off toward the street that ran along the forest. I'd walked it plenty of times as a wolf, trying to test and see if people would just start shooting at me. Thankfully, the people who did stop just did so to get photos and tell me I was a huge crossbreed dog or something of the sort that must have gotten loose. A few times, animal control had tried to catch me, though, which wasn't exactly a fond memory considering the time I'd gotten shot with three spiky things and got away just before passing out in the snow.

They had cheated. I don't know how, but that spiky thing made me go to sleep when I wasn't tired, like when Cole brought me to that weird man.

Grumbling under my breath, I looked down at my loose-fitting light brown shorts and red shirt that had slanted white writing across the front. I had no idea what it said even though I did understand some letters, I just hadn't learned enough for writing to be useful yet.

"It will have to do."

My words sounded odd to my ears since I was used to only hearing my wolf's sounds, but at least my human words were understandable. Deciding that it was time to go, I quickly made my way through the thick snow and up onto the road. I'd made sure to watch humans and learn how to copy the way they walked. So when I got close to what they called a sidewalk, I hesitantly stepped onto it, then took a deep breath as I pushed onward down its long stretch. Several people watched me from where a group sat under a fake tree with the symbol of one of those giant noisy cars on it. I caught a few of them staring at my lower body, which had my own eyes moving to my feet.

Is there something wrong with my feet? Am I walking badly?

Licking my lips, I lifted my head and decided to ignore them and keep going. I obviously wasn't doing something too wrong because no one was telling me or making a big deal out of it.

"Uh, hey, dude?"

Blinking, I stopped abruptly, only a few steps away from walking right into a guy.