What It Means To Be Me

A New Reason to Run

~Tanner~

Miles passed beneath my paws before I finally slowed to a tired jog, then brisk walk. I was panting heavily, and I had no idea where I had been going, but I couldn't think of anything besides the look of betrayal I'd seen in Cole's eyes when I attacked him.

I didn't mean to. It was his fault.

Growling, I finally dropped to my belly in a snowdrift and nuzzled my nose into the cold substrate.

Why didn't he just submit? So many times I'd given him the chance, but each time he either ignored or punished me.

Forcing my mind to relax for a few minutes, I shut my eyes and simply listened to the quiet forest surrounding me. I knew most creatures immediately hid or became silent when something unfamiliar or dangerous appeared in their territory, but as I lay still in the snow, I knew I was sending a message that I wasn't interested in hunting or really bothering any of them. After a short while, the sounds of the forest I was so familiar with began to return, one chirp, rustle and squeak at a time.

Mmmm, home.

While I had to admit that living in Cole's house was comfortable for the first few weeks, I knew I couldn't remain there any longer. He was used to staying in one place, in one small home, but I just wasn't like that. Being stuck in that place was likely the reason my dominance had begun to push to the forefront of my personality, because I really didn't think I was that bad before. It was just that when I met Cole and realized what he was...it felt wrong.

He is not meant to be an alpha, my mind supplied with a sense of determination. It seemed like it was trying to convince me, but I already knew that. Grunting in sudden frustration, I dug my head into the snow and shook it, sending the cold, white, mushy water every which way. My ears perked up at the sound of a squirrel climbing down a tree a few feet away, curiosity shining in its little black eyes. It clicked its teeth together, and I tilted my head, then smacked one of my paws down in the snow. It froze for a moment after I moved but then hopped down when I stayed where I was. My eyes roved over its small body without much worry. It was a squirrel, after all. I was its predator, not the other way around. I'd eaten plenty of them when I was a pup, too. It didn't seem to care, though, since it scampered atop the thick blanket of snow before coming to a stop in front of my nose. I made it twitch with a quiet huff and then the fluffy thing jumped and darted up the nearest tree.

Scardy squirrel.

I thought it had run from me, but when the wind shifted and I took a deep breath, a sharp, jagged shiver forced its way down my spine. Without a second thought, I was running, my paws slamming their way through the thick snow drifts one after the other after the other.

That scent.

My thoughts ran rampant, but I didn't let them slow me down. I knew what happened when a wolf was weak...that's why I had been forced to run all those years ago...and why I had to run now. The paws that pounded the ground behind me didn't sound anything like a normal wolf's, considering the sounds I'd made when playing with Cole and his pack in their backyard before I began to get aggressive.

No.

I knew my mind didn't want to understand what was going on, but there was no denying it, especially when I bunched my muscles to prepare to jump over a large recently fallen tree right as a loud roar shook the forest to its roots.

Monster.

The sudden intensity and volume of the sound made me trip and topple over the log to fall into the snow built up on the other side. Not a moment after I fell, a giant blond wolf shot over the log, turning in mid-air to land in the deep snow with little effort. I fumbled to my paws, but my eyes were completely focused on the bright gold ones locked on me.