The Mathematics of Love ✔

BONUS 2/3 - Amelia and the Worst Orientation Ever

AS IT TURNED out, bringing toilet paper to parties as a housewarming gift was a Southeast Asian tradition that only my Chinese parents subscribed to. At college parties, the housewarming gift of choice wasn't toilet paper or any other household utility. It was girls. This meant that to the boys of 203 Howard Street, my three roommates and I were like a gift basket, stripper cake, and new car, all rolled into one.

How do I describe this? Walking into my first college party? It was like stepping into a different life. The life of a much cooler, crazier girl.

I'd never even been to a high school party. My idea of a crazy party was celebrating Chinese New Year with my parents' family friends and making sure all five million of their children didn't break everything in the house.

It was nerve-wracking. Beyond nerve-wracking. I knew this party wasn't going to be anything near chill, as Jennifer had promised. I mean, I heard the party before I saw it. The screams. The loud music. Felt the beat drop in my bones as we approached the house, which was a beacon in the night, colorful lights flashing into the dark.

Jennifer, Hannah, and Lauren had strewn the contents of their suitcases all over our room and managed to scrounge together some crop tops and high-waisted shorts. After swiping on makeup, they looked stunning. Not remotely like they were fresh out of high school.

On the other hand, I hadn't fared so well with my limited choice of wardrobe.

"Really, Amelia? A football jersey?" Jennifer sighed.

"It was the only thing I had left to wear," I protested, twisting the ends of my maize-and-blue Wolverine jersey. "I didn't pack knowing I'd be going to a party." The three girls continued to stare at me. "Fine. And I thought this outfit said 'chill'. Okay?"

"I didn't mean it'd be that chill," Jennifer snickered.

"Yeah, what if you get mistaken for a dude in the dark?" Hannah added. She sounded genuinely fearful. Like this was the worst thing that could possibly happen to me. "And some drunk chick climbs all over you, and--"

"It's fine," Lauren laughed, waving her hand at me as if trying to erase the deer-in-headlights look on my face. She clomped up the steps of the rundown house unsteadily. The tiny Korean girl was wearing two inch heels. Two. I was impressed that she'd even managed to walk all this way with us without wiping out. "Who cares if we're dressed like we're going to church?"

"Uh, church?" I said. What kind of church did this girl go to?

"We'll have plenty of time to be skanks when we come here for real in the fall."

We. She'd said we. I felt warmth blossom in my chest. Maybe I'd found friends here, real friends like Nancy and Louisa, already. Maybe attending college thousands of miles away from my hometown wouldn't be so bad after all.

The door opened, and a boy who was decked out head to foot in maize-and-blue spiritwear greeted us. Red solo cup in one hand. Blue foam finger in the other. Douchey grin in between. Yep. Everything about him screamed frat boy.

Jennifer's face broke out into a brilliantly white smile, and she sauntered right up to the boy and pecked him on the cheek. "Hey, babe."

Babe. Three days we'd been on this campus, and already my roommate had found people to call babe. I could still barely find the dining hall.

Hannah, Lauren, and I clustered uncertainly on the front porch. One peek into the house showed me nothing but darkness, broken up by colorful strobe lights and the occasional flash of white clothing.