The Mathematics of Love ✔

Chapter 19

It always amazed me how much my father resembled a teenage girl on her time of the month. Except his time of month lasted all days of the year.

If you got on Dad’s bad side, he lashed out at you. If you were on his good side, he’d likely lash out at you anyway. If you so much as breathed at him the wrong way, you’d better be prepared to lose a nostril or two.

Suffice to say that being on Dad’s bad side at the hotel that night was not an experience I was in a hurry to try again.

“Do you understand the opportunity you’ve thrown away?” he hissed in Mandarin, pacing in front of me. I sat in the armchair and fixed my gaze on my feet while Mom avoided the argument altogether in the bathroom. Smart woman.

“How many years have you dreamed of going to Harvard?” Dad demanded. “I’ll tell you: too many to throw away! And now Harvard alumni came knocking at your door, and where were you? Out fooling around, that’s where!”

“Sorry, Dad,” I mumbled. “I didn’t know they were coming.” If I’d known, there was no way in hell I would have left. Not for all the Alexanders, Amelias, and Louisas in the world. Maybe for the food, though. The food had been good.

“Sorry is useless. Sorry won’t fix anything,” Dad snapped. He stopped his pacing to stop and glare at me. His dinner suit had gotten all wrinkled, and his tie was now crooked.

“Can’t I…can’t I call the alumni or something?” I suggested weakly. “Maybe they’ll reconsider.”

Dad’s glare practically impaled me. “After you behaved so unprofessionally in front of everyone, they have every reason not to consider you anymore. Many other kids would give up their arms to join this research project. You, on the other hand, lied and snuck out of an extremely important dinner!”

I winced. It sounded a thousand times worse when Dad put it that way. “But I could at least try to explain to them—”

“Enough, Nancy! You have already embarrassed this family enough, don’t you think?” Dad’s face had gone all red and splotchy and he was waving his pointer finger wildly through the air. “We drove you all the way out here, giving up precious work time, and you don’t even known how to appreciate it. When I was your age—”

Oh, here we go again. The “when I was your age, I walked ten miles to school barefoot with a desk strapped to my back” talk, version five hundred thirty-one.

“—Never was so ungrateful!” Dad exploded. “Do you know how I grew up? My family never had any money, so I worked hard to become number one in my class every single year I went to school. Every. Single. Year.” He leaned against the wall and wiped some angry sweat off his forehead. “I told myself I had to make top grades no matter what. That was the only way I could allow myself to dream of coming to America and making a better life for my family. If I brought home less than fantastic scores, my parents didn’t need to punish me. I would punish myself.

“I made many sacrifices for the life we now have, Nancy. Many, many sacrifices.” Dad sighed and looked off into the distance, a wistful look overtaking his face. “I could have gone to Qing Hua University—the best school in China—but instead I came to a second-rate college in America hoping my children would one day have a better life than mine.” He paused to take a breath, the anger in his body being replaced with something even worse—disappointment. “Well, now I’ve made it big in America. I’m one of the lucky immigrants. But I’ve failed my children. You and Kevin—you both throw away educational opportunities as if they’re worth nothing.”

I wanted to say it wasn’t true. All I’d done was have one night of fun with my friends. But at what cost?

“You have never once appreciated how much your mother and I struggled so that you can even have these opportunities,” Dad accused. “I expected better from you, Nancy.”