Hollow

Chapter 36

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Waking up the Monday after the party was like waking up in someone else's body. I'd spent the rest of the weekend in this house, under the careful watch of my mother. I felt different around her now- closer, maybe.

I felt a pull from my parents, one I'd been resistent to before. I felt like our relationship before now had been a lie. I had been a stand-in; an actress pretending to be their lost child. I never felt like I was truly a part of this family. I was the missing puzzle piece that didn't quite fit, but they still needed me to fill the hole.

Now it was different. I could stand with them and feel connected, like I was supposed to be there. Like the little girl in those photos in the hallway actually was me. It was like I'd never left.

I remembered things that I wasn't always sure were real or imaginary. I couldn't deny it, though. They felt real.

Blurry images of a childhood I'd forgotten rose to the surface of my memory. Me, sitting on the counter, no more than four years old, as my mother baked cookies. Christmas spent with our entire family. My grandmother looking at me with adoration, and not as if I was diseased and contagious. My father taking photos of everything, especially my brother and I, as if we were everything he needed to remember; as if I was worth remembering.

I didn't believe that any of it could be my imagination.

I got up from my bed and grabbed one of my school uniforms. I began walking towards the bathroom, but stopped short when I felt something like eyes on the back of my neck. An ice cold chill instantly filled me; someone was watching me.

I spun around, letting the uniform slip through my fingers as I raised my fists. The soft material fell at my feet. My heart pounded and my eyes darted around the room, checking every corner, every shadow. My senses were on high alert, searching for whatever I'd felt.

No one was there. I was alone. I looked across the room one more time before letting my guard drop. I let out a breath as my heart beat slowed and slowly bent down to pick up my discarded uniform from the floor.

After pausing another second, I went out to the bathroom where I continued to get ready for school. Uneasiness pooled in my stomach more and more as the minutes ticked by. A lot of my classmates had been at that party. They probably knew exactly what had happened.

They already had a habit of making me uncomfortable with their constant staring; now it would probably be unbearable. That night was a bit hazy in my memory, but I knew my falling unconscious couldn't have been discrete.

I just hoped no one would mention or question it. I wanted to move passed that horrible moment and forget about it. I was so close to normal- I wouldn't let this ruin everything.

~ ~ ~

I walked towards the door of the school with Angela by my side. She seemed to be standing much closer than usual, and her constant glancing in my direction didn't go unnoticed. She was worried about me, that was obvious, but she didn't need to be.

I was safe now. I'd be more careful, more cautious. I'd never let anyone make me so vulnerable again.

I made it to my locker and let out a breath, looking over to Angela. She was watching me carefully, waiting for me to finish -so that she could watch me while I walked to class.

"Angela." I said slowly.

She blinked, her eyes focusing on me. "What is it? Are you okay?"

I frowned, taking a step away from her. "You're going to be late for class."

She shook her head. "No, I'll be fine, Bell, I want to walk you."

"You don't need to do that. I can get to class myself." I told her. She was being overprotective. I understood why she was acting this way, but it wasn't necessary. I was in my right mind. I wasn't weak; I'd never be weak again. I didn't need her to treat me like glass; I thought we'd all moved past this.