Regular P.O.V.
Happy now? How can she be happy? What is happiness? You don’t have an answer to that do you? She didn’t either. So much questions in this life, so much things which are kept hidden from you. Maybe you don’t need to know all these things, maybe you just need to stay in this box you find safe. But how would you know the fear, the anger and hate you have? Mostly how would you know how to love a person? With those thoughts she was getting drowned in the river of feelings towards a person who was her best friend. He may have turned away from her now, or maybe not. But her mind already made up that there was no way to get him back. Clouds covered the sun, as she walked down the street, everyone passed her. Seemed like her life was black and white, a silent movie. She got lost in this movie, and there was no way out. Everyone seemed the same, all the same. Same old blank expression on their face, same black dress or suit, same cup of coffee. Feeling like she was the one different, so much more different than them. But she couldn’t fit in, only because how would you fit into this black and white world of silence. She still had her colors, when they all were grey without any emotions. She didn’t really know where she was walking, but her feet were just walking in some direction. The sour chemical taste of cars and buses bit her tongue. Her head low she tried not thinking of the times she attempted to take her own life, the times where she felt like worthless garbage just being thrown out and not needed, the time where she put all those pills in her mouth to stop the pain of reality, when she ran the razor down her arm, when Kellin found her in the alley with only a bottle of Vodka. The flashbacks seemed so real, the pain stabbed her making her stomach turn upside down. The flash of Kellin reaching out his hand towards her to help, him driving her to his house, him being so warm towards her. And now, there was nothing left. White space around her, everyone had turned their backs. Why did she deserve this? Why must she live through all this suffering? Why must the people she love turn away and become only shadows in her flashbacks. She was in a blank white world with a big question mark above her. A question mark which asked her, would you run or would you get hit? Would you decide to live this reality or escape from it? But she always just stood there her eyes faded and her expression blank as the questions circled her. It seemed like these questions had a mind of their own, with insane smiles on their faces they danced around her in a circle. Their voices echoing in her ears. Would you do it? Would you not? Will you take this? Or would you leave? She couldn’t tell them to stop because these questions were her own self. She was the one asking herself those questions, she was the one questioning her own path of life. She couldn’t decide what she wanted, what she could have done to save those people from turning away, she couldn’t stop herself from being addicted to the pain she caused herself. The pain of sadness, fear, and feeling empty. She found sweetness in that sour pain, she found sweetness when she caused herself pain. And once she stopped she didn’t know where to turn. Appearing in this blank white world with questions about herself. The clouds above her started turning grey, they clouded the light blue sky making it darken. The deep thunder rumbled above again, raindrops started dropping to the ground one by one. She just kept on walking forward, she couldn’t turn back and go home. She already went too far away from home, no turning back. The rain was pouring hard now, the wind strong and cold. She wrapped her arms around herself trying to keep warm, her expression dark trying to hide the feelings she had.
Isabella P.O.V.
Feeling dizziness hit my head, making me stumble a bit. I couldn’t take this anymore, all the times I hurt myself was coming back to me. The memories of me getting so drunk, cutting myself and worse. I can’t take it, but then why did I turn so far away from home? I don’t know. It felt like my whole life was wasted, just like money. I am already twenty one, my whole life was wasted completetly. Just how am I going to move on? I walked close to the edge of the boulevard, staring my blurry reflection in the puddles. Cars passed by fast, everything seemed quiet for me. As rain was understanding me, the wind howled around me. As I walked, my head low I didn’t see what was in front of me. I didn’t want to look up until I stopped in my tracks bumping into someone. I thought that person would move out of my way, but no. I felt the hot breath against my neck, yet I didn’t look up. Why should I look up? Until I felt that person’s hand grip my shoulder, it was strong and firm. Slowly glancing up, my gaze met his. Those dark brown eyes were piercing me, with such strong emotions. We stood there motionless in the pouring rain looking at each other. Everything seemed slow motion, as we locked eye contact. Why was he here? Why is he silent? My questions ran through my head one more time and everything went black…
