Captain Levi

Chapter 3

The short commander strode from the room.  He passed down the hall to hear sobs echoing from the room he had left Eren in.  A small, very, very, tiny part of his consciousness figured he should see what it was, so he pressed his ear against the door.

“It’s my fault Armin.  It is, it is, it-“

“Eren, you were believing in them.  Stop this, Annie killed them, not you.  It was her decisions and actions that are to blame, don’t take all of the blame here-“

“Petra and Levi were together, Armin.”  There was a sigh.

“So were others, like Hannah and Franz.  I- I saw them.  Franz was half eaten, Hannah was killed trying to resuscitate his remains.  There are worse ways to end than Petra’s.  She was killed on impact, she didn’t suffer, Eren.”

“-BUT IF I HAD JUST TRANSFORMED SOONER-“

Slap

“Eren.  I’m sorry for that, but listen to me.  Petra was just another soldier.  She may have been kind and strong, but so were many others.  Think of Marco, who died alone without a friend in sight.  Or Mina, who had been knocked out, and when she came to, her head was in a titan’s mouth.  Or ANY of our trainee squad that was sent to Trost!  They were annihilated!  I saw all of that happen too, Eren!  I lost it, and I was useless, and I let others die because of it.  I was a useless piece of shit who watched my friends die and did nothing about it.

“You DID something about it Eren!  You fought Annie until your body literally stopped functioning, and then some.  We even captured her eventually, thanks to you.  You’ve done what you could, now stop beating yourself up over it!  I’m sure if you could change the past, you’d save your MOM too, but THINK!  How would you pulled that off, huh?  How would you have saved them?  Your mom? Petra?  Take her and run, and leave the others behind?  What about the OTHERS who died that day,  what about the OTHERS who died thanks to the TITANS?  What about those who never got avenged like Petra did?

“I know you want to see the outside world.  But I also know you want others to see it too.  Petra saw the world already, and she experienced love, and friendship, and a bit of life.  So focus on those who haven’t.  Think about the people who need your help now, not your grief.  It’s not like you to be so regretful, so get back to the old you.  The one I can count on.”

 When Levi snapped out of his haze, he felt tears on his cheeks, and his mouth ajar.  He had been stupid.  And to be shown it by a boy who had never managed to kill a titan.

Levi turned on his heel and paced right back into Irvin’s office.

“I told you already, you can take your leave, it wasn’t a hollow offer.”

“I’m sorry Irvin, I was being foolish.  Of course I don’t need leave, it was just another expedition.  The new and curious circumstances involving an intelligent titan has left me a bit out of sorts, that’s all.   It was nothing.  I’m turning in early, I’ll be ready for service in the morning.”

The small man saluted his commanding officer, and turned to exit the office.  Irvin stopped him though.

“What changed your mind?”

“She wasn’t my wife yet, now was she?  Just like it wasn’t my son or daughter yet.  They were no different from the rest who have died.  Just more casualties of war. Casualties of war that I am more than apt to deal with on my own.”  And with that, Levi was gone.