The Track and Me

Twelve

Prom dress pictured above!

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Five words. Five little words can turn your life upside down. Five words can make you feel things you never thought was possible. These five words made me feel many different emotions. Happiness, fear, hopefulness. You name it. But I wasn't sure what to say.

"Carrie?" Jake said. "Please say something."

"I...."

"I should've kept my mouth shut. I shouldn't have said anything."

"No. Jake. I'm glad you did. I just..... I don't know what to say."

"I'm sorry Ryan. I couldn't hold it in any longer. I want to let the world know I love you and I'm sorry if that makes you feel different towards me."

"No. It's not that. I'm just scared."

"What is there to be afraid of?" He asked holding both my hands.

"Everyone I've ever been close to has been ripped away from me. You're the first person I've let get close to me and I don't want to lose you." I gently placed my hand on his cheek.

I loved him. I knew I loved him. But once I say those words aloud I can't take them back. Once I say those words they are forever out there. Once I say those words who knows what will happen.

I removed my hand from his face as he wiped a tear off my face.

"Carrie, I promise you. I will never intentionally hurt or leave you. You are the strongest person I know. Whether you know it or not, you have over came so much. Last year you wouldn't even have had a conversation with me let alone let me hold your hand. You joined the track team. We became a large dysfunctional family but it was something." He put a piece of hair falling on my face behind my ear. "You got a full ride to your dream school. You got the whole school to fall in love with you. Your grandma is healthy and you made friends. I am more proud of you than I have ever been of anyone. If you let me I would love to show you how much you mean to me. I would be honored to be your boyfriend but if you aren't ready for that I'll understand."

Jake Stanley, the school's number one single man, just poured his heart out to me. Jake loves me. I felt the tears flowing down my face as I thought. I could hear how he truly meant ever word he said.

"I would love to be your girlfriend. I just need you to promise me something." I said looking at him tenderly.

"Anything."

"If you ever feel like this isn't going to work out, please don't drag me on. Just tell me. I don't think I could bare to get my heart broken."

"Ryan. If anyone will leave anyone you'll leave me." Jake said as he pressed his forehead to mine.

I chuckled as I buried my face in his chest.

I'm not completely free from my depression. I feel the lingering feeling every day. The fear of the attacks coming back is very frequent in my every day life. But with Jake things are different. He makes me feel protected. He makes me feel safe and strong. I feel as if I'm on top of the world with him. I have no idea what I did to deserve him but I am thankful that he found me.

"I'm going to make you the happiest girl ever." Jake said as he grinned at me.

"You already have."

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Prom was tonight. Maddie came over five hours early insisting we took the whole time to get ready. She decided she was going to do my hair and make up. I only agreed if she would make my make up look natural and my hair look normal.

"Sit still Carrie. I can't fix this just right if you don't."

My hair was curled and she was bobby pinning it up into an elegant updo. My make up was very natural but you can tell I was wearing some.

"There done. Oh my gosh. Carrie you look gorgeous!" Maddie said clapping her hands together.

I looked in the mirror and barely recognized myself. The girl staring back at me looked nothing like the timid girl who lost her parents and was an outsider. I had grown in the past year and over came things I never thought was possible.

"Thank you." I said hugging Maddie. "I...  thank you."

I got my dress out of my closet and slipped it on. It fit just as I remembered. I looked at myself in the mirror and couldn't believe what I was seeing. I looked confident. Something I haven't seen in years.

"Jake won't be able to take his eyes off you." Maddie said smiling at me.

She looked gorgeous as well. I went with a light blue dress while she went with a light pink dress.

The doorbell rang downstairs. I quickly checked myself in the mirror as I heard my grandma open the door.

I walked down the stairs behind Maddie. Dylan, one of Jake's friends on the track team, has been dating Maddie for a while now. It was a no brainer they would go together.

I seen Jake. He looked like he stepped out of the cover of a magazine. His hair was styled perfectly without a hair out of place. His tie matched my dress perfectly. They was nothing I would change about this moment. Or so I thought.

I got the the last step before I tripped. Luckily Jake was right there and caught me.

"I know you're falling for me but you don't have to do it literally." Jake said smiling down at me.

He steadied me as I smacked him with my clutch.

"I'm kidding." He stepped back and looked at me. "You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen." He said as he pulled me to him.

"I love you more and more every time I see you." He whispered in my ear.

I blushed as we hugged my grandma bye and walked out the door. Maddie and Dylan got into the back of Jake's Camry. Jake opened his passenger door for me.

Tonight was going to be a night I would never forget and I couldn't wait to spend it with Jake..... and Maddie and Dylan of course.