I rushed to my room, kicking my door open and ignoring my mom's concerned face and my older sister, Stephanie's smirk, as I threw myself at my bed and sobbed my heart out.
How could he do this to me? He knows how I feel about him!
The more I thought about it, the more depressed I got. I started screaming in pain, clutching a pillow pressing it aggressively to my face, trying to drown out my shrieks.
He was the whole world to me. He was a part of me, and I was a part of him. I loved him more than anything, and I would do anything for him. My memory rushed as old moments flood back: us kissing on a bench, our first date at the beach, how proud I was when I walked down the hall at school with his arms around me, us holding hand in public, swimming in the pool together, the deep conversations we use to have, how he hugs me, and when he choose me to be his date for our Goodbye Summer dance, those were all the past now. I'm now in the tragic present.
The thought of losing him, forever, made me flip on my back and clutched the pillow in my arms, crushing it to my chest and brawling. I couldn't help and replayed the moment in my head.
*Flashback*
" Hey Dezzie, can I talk to you?" Matt sat down on the bench beside me.
" Sure Matt. What do you need?" I asked, My wind-chime musical voice floating into the air, as I crawled on his lap and twined my fingers around his neck."
" I want to tell you something important, but I'm afraid to say it." Matt looked seriously at me, his eyes bruning into mine. Suddenly the phrase " If looks could kill" ran through my body and sent a shiver down my spine.
" You can trust me Matt. I always keep your secrets. Remember, I love you, right?" I stared into his light blue eyes, while a cool breeze drifted around me, blowing my long, light blonde hair in my face, and my bell earrings started tinkling. Somehow, the ring sounded harsher that usual today.
Matt took and deep breath and shook his head, as if trying to clear away some thoughts.
" Désirae Kayla Ali," He breathed my whole name out, sounding nervous.
" This just isn't working out. I don't think we can be together anymore. Look, I found someone else, ok? So can we just be friends?" He gushed out, leaving me shocked and stunned, as I took a few seconds to let it sink in. Then I dropped my arms away from his neck, opening my mouth in horror, as I finally pieced together what he was saying. Even if he didn't actually said the whole thing, I undertstood what he was talking about. he was breaking up with me. I just sat there, motionless, and I slid off his land and fell on the ground, speckling my off-the-shoulder shirt and mini shorts with dust.
The clouds turned black and rain started pouring down hard, drenching my perfectly straightened blonde hair.
" You what?" I whispered in a voice barely loud enough for myself to hear, let alone anyone else. Thunder cracked above me, dangerously avoiding me.
" I. Am. Breaking. Up. With. You." He emphasized the words, looking hard into my light blue eyes.
" I-," My voice cracked as a tear slid down my cheeks, as hard as I tried to keep it in, blending in with the rain dripping from my face. I wiped it away angrily before he saw. The last thing I want was for him to break up with me and me to get too dramatic and emotional.
" I. Broke. With. You." Matt repeated the words, as if I was disabled or something. Why did he sound so menacing , threatening and mean?
He broke up with you!! Do you want him to see you getting all teary over him while he runs off with a gorgeous brunette girl smirking at you and doing what you and Matt used to do together? My mind screamed at me. What are you waiting for? Fight back! He doesn't want you anyways, so what's the point of showing your real feelings to him? He might laugh at you a spread it to the whole school! I can see the headline now: Dezzi Ali gets teary eyed over ex-boyfriend, Being stubborn and emotional. Dezzi breaks down for once! My instincts literally ate me up. I tried to stand up looking brave, tough, angry, cool and calm at the same time. My face and my voice were at least controlled, but who knows what my actions might be?
" Matt? You know what? Thank you. You don't know what a relief it is to not be your girlfriend anymore. After all, you are just such a jerk. So you'll get your life, and I'll get mine. So you can run off to your gorgeous brunette girlfriend and make out with her while I do stuff that's actually worth the time, like find a new boyfriend." I tried to make my voice dipped with venom and sarcasm, while fighting back the tears that threatened to spill over anytime now.
" So I'm going to make it fast and clear now." My voice started cracking up again, and I wondered what my face looked like. Matt stared back at me coldly, looking bored and as if he didn't want to be here. Lightning flashed by us, making his face look dark and harsh.
" I. Break. Up. With. You. Done." The tears was going to drop out any second now, so I grabbed my prada purse and threw my poncho over my shoulder. Just when I was about to leave without a glance back, a sickly sweet, high-pitched familiar voice stopped me.
" Hey Matt!" A flirty voice caught my attention. A beautiful girl with brown curls, wearing a Burberry raincoat draped her arms around matt's shoulders.
" I've been waiting for you for a long, long time now. Where've you been?" She cooed.
" Where've you been, sweetie?" Matt turned around and faced her, suddenly looking entertained and exicted.
Then she noticed me standing there, all wet and ugly and smirked.
" Well, well. Look and what we have here," She purred.
" Oh, Désirae! Isn't it you! Standing here all sad, waiting for your ex-boyfriend-" she paused.
" Which, FYI, is my boyfriend now- to accept you once more? Aw, how sweet and pathetic of you." My tears faded away and my hurtfulness turned into anger. Suddenly I recognized who she was. Behind the Burberry raincoat, she was Cinnamon, the Leader of the "Cool" people, while I, Désirae, had no tittle.
" Cinnamon? You-you-" I couldn't bring myself to get the words out. I knew Matt had to be too good to be true. He was the most popular girl, while Cinnamon was the most coolest girl, and I;ve always wondered why he choose me over her. I mean, like we've been dating for 4 years! Matt was looking between us, back and forth like a tennis games, but I felt like crying again as the rain sloshed down harder, like it was a part of my mood. I couldn't stand it anymore. I held my head high and slapped my wet hair back, trying to look dignified, and with Cinnamon and Matt's eyes on me, I ran. Ran as fast as I could, with hateful tears filled with undetectable emotions, leaking out of my eyes, ruining my mascara and sidestepped my glossed lips and flew into the air, marking my place in the ground. I ran like the wind, and soon, before I relized it, I was back at my house.
*End of Flashback*
By now, I was hysterically crying, and I couldn't stop. It just wasn't fair. It was like he took a part of me and never gave it back. He was a part of me, and when he was gone, my soul was also gone with him.
I finally quieted down and slowly cried myself to sleep.
Sorry It's my first story, I know it sucks, but give me feedback, and Tell me if I should continue!
~Steffie♡
I Heart You~♡
