The Platform Between Us

Chapter Seven:

So, let me catch you up on what's happened these past five months:

I have become close with all of Logan's friends and even met his family.

I hit five million on my channel.

Logan admitted that he never misses a video as I upload them.

And, last but not least, Logan asked me out.

Yeah, that's right.

You read that right.

LOGAN PAUL ASKED ME OUT.

LOGAN. ASKED. ME. OUT.

I AM GOING ON A DATE WITH LOGAN PAUL.

Okay, I'm done now I promise.

I may or may not be dead, actually.

You may never hear from me again.

RIP.

Anyway, yes. Logan and I have our first date this Saturday night. I am so anxious about this. Am I really ready to be in a relationship if that's where this leads? I scared that everything will end up going wrong and Logan will just walk out of my life. I have faith in him, I promise. Those are just thoughts I think anyone has.

But I am super excited for this. He said we were going out for pizza and then going bowling. It honestly sounds like a lot of fun. I haven't been bowling in years! I may embarrass myself in front of him, but I'm sure it won't be too bad. I finished getting ready for work, and I checked over everything and locked the door and shut it behind me as I left the apartment. I smiled as I made my way down the street to the cafe. The bell above the door chimed as I entered the building, and Beverly looked up and smiled at me. I smiled back with a slight wave before moving into the back room to clock in and put my apron on. Logan is gone on a trip back home right now, and I thought about making a trip back myself sometime soon. Logan has been gone for the past week and is supposed to be back by tomorrow. He called yesterday and said he wanted me to be there to meet him at the airport when he flies in.

I've had a few moments where I've fallen apart. Trying to get your life together is difficult, but I'm sure I can get through it soon. And, if you are struggling with this too, I know that you are capable of doing that too. No one ever said it was going to be easy after all. We got this.

But saying that I've fallen apart, by that I mean that it became too much for me at moments, and I resorted to relieving the pain the only way I seem to know how to these days--cutting.

I know, I know.

I got a lecture from both Beverly and Logan about this. Neither one of them wants to force me to therapy, but they did say they would make me go if it got to be too bad. I'm rambling, I know, but I won't get everything out and said if I didn't do it this way. You get that, right? I hope so. If not, I'm sorry. 

But I cut a few days ago because of not knowing what to do and some hate had also gotten to me. People always say that I'm not good enough for Logan, and I know that, but he tells me otherwise. Sometimes I find it annoying, and others, I'm grateful for that. I guess I should just step back every once in a while to try and breathe and figure things out. I think I can handle that. And if not, I'm probably going to cut again.

Logan knows about a lot that's going on with me just based on my videos. He's asked me about it in person, but he later told me that I seem vague in my answers. I told him that it was probably because it seems easier to talk to a camera than it does a person. And then I knit my eyebrows together when I realize that I'm technically talking to millions of people about things that bother me and I can't tell Logan in person. I feel absolutely terrific after realizing that!

Take a lesson in sarcasm if you didn't know the last sentence was dripping with it.

I should try working on that, I suppose. I'm sure Logan would want to know everything that is on my mind so he can help. He's a great man in that sense. I know that much. I owe that to him. Which is why I'm hoping that he can stay patient with me for as long as it takes for me to be ready. I know that that's a lot to ask of him, but I hope he understands. He has so far, so I don't know what would change that.

I don't make any sense, I know. I'm sorry.

I smile and hand out another coffee, humming to myself as I turn to make another. We've had quite the morning here already. The highlight has been the customers that just walked in not too long ago and took a back corner seat. I knew that Beverly was a fan of theirs, especially the "little Irishman" as she always calls him. I smirk to myself before moving to the window that looks into the back. "Hey, Beverly!" I called out.

"Yeah?" she asked as she walked up.

"I think you may want to come out here and help these four men that just walked in. I would do it, but it seems like something you'd be mad at me for if you knew and I didn't tell you." 

"Oh yeah?" She wiped her hands off before pushing the back door open and coming to meet me where I was standing. I pointed over to the corner and looked back at her, watching as her jaw fell in shock. I giggled softly and shook my head. "I can't do this." She turned to go back into the kitchen and I grabbed her arm, gave her an order pad and pen, and shoved her in the direction of, well, One Direction. Seems like they needed a quieter place to meet up to catch up. I smiled again before going back to the kitchen to see what the timer signaled. 

Once Beverly was done taking their orders and getting it back to them, she sat on the floor behind the counter and tried to catch her breath. I couldn't help but laugh at her, resulting in her smacking my leg. I went back to work and eventually convinced Beverly to do the same. As the boys got ready to leave, Niall came over and asked me to tell my friend that they would be back sometime. I smiled and nodded, waving as they walked out the door. Beverly was already looking out the window when I turned to tell her, and she smiled softly once I did.

The rest of the day dragged on and I was soon home, showered, and changed. I decided to call for pizza and told Beverly that it would be my treat. She thanked me before heading off to do what I had just gotten done with. We ate pizza for supper and watched a bunch of movies before falling asleep on the couch, not caring about having to be places in the morning.

"(Y/N)! If you don't get up now, you won't be there when Logan gets in!" Beverly yelled as she shook me awake. That was enough to have me up and rushing to get dressed. I pulled on jeans and a Maverick shirt before rushing out the door and to my car. I got in and hit the road, hoping I wouldn't run into to much traffic. It seemed as though something finally decided to be on my side because I made it to the airport in record time. Now, I just have to wait.

About half an hour later, I became more alert because I knew Logan would come through his gates at any time now. I smiled at the thought of it being one of those cliche moments you always see in movies; he would run to me, pick me up, and spin me around before hugging me close and telling me how much he missed me. Sounds nice, doesn't it? "(Y/N)!" I looked up and saw Logan rushing my way. I smiled as he got closer to me and pulled me into a hug. "It is so nice to see you again," he said softly.

"You too, Logan. You too."