I reached my hand up to change the radio station, and my eyes caught a glimpse of the date. June 27th, 2017. A chill immediately ran through my body, and my smile fell from my face mid-laugh. I thought my mother noticed, but if she did, she didn't say anything about it.
I turned my head so that my mom wouldn't see the expression on my face. I gazed out the window at the passing scenery, and my mind began to wander.
Mom and I were headed to Big Surf for the day. Big Surf is my favorite water park. I was excited and raring to go, but I wasn't as happy as I knew I could have been if we were going on any other day.
27th.
The date was wrought into my brain. No matter how many times I tried, I couldn't forget it. That was the date that Jordan broke up with me. Every month, when the 27th came around, I inevitably ended up feeling horrible. Sometimes, the day starts out like any other. It can be a really good day, actually. But on the 27th, the day always ends badly. I always end up thinking about our relationship at some point, and that makes me feel worse than I normally do.
It was a bright and sunny day. Usually, rainy days make me feel peaceful and more in tune with the feelings of other people. I'm always calm on rainy days. Usually, bright and sunny days make me feel energetic and hyper. But, not that day.
That day, it seemed like I was looking at the world through a filter. Everything seemed so much duller and less appealing without her next to me.
If I tried hard enough, I could freeze one image from our relationship in my brain. I did so then, and I pictured us, together in the halls, with our hands intertwined. I thought of heart-rush that I'd gotten from that, and the way I'd excitedly slapped the shit out of my friend, Elijah, afterwards.
It brought a smile to my face for just an instant. Then it was gone.
I was interrupted in my thoughts by Mom turning up the volume on the radio. My breath caught in my throat and I let out a small sigh that I knew she wouldn't be able to hear. I knew the melody by heart. It was a melody that I'd tried hard to forget ever since the breakup.
Today Was A Fairytale by Taylor Swift.
Despite my rational mind telling me that it was a bad idea, I began to sing softly.
Today was a fairytale
You were the prince
I used to be a damsel in distress
You took me by the hand and you picked me up at six
Today was a fairytale
Today was a fairytale
Today was a fairytale
I wore a dress
You wore a dark gray t-shirt
You told me I was pretty when I looked like a mess
Today was a fairytale
Time slows down whenever you're around
But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale
Today was a fairytale
You've got a smile that takes me to another planet
Every move you make everything you say is right
Today was a fairytale
Today was a fairytale
All that I can say is now it's getting so much clearer
Nothin' made sense 'til the time I saw your face
Today was a fairytale
Time slows down whenever you're around
Yeah yeah
But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale
Time slows down whenever you're around
I can feel my heart
It's beating in my chest
Did you feel it?
I can't put this down
But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there
It must have been the way
But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale
Oh oh yeah yeah oh
Today was a fairytale
I sighed, in a few shuddering breaths. Over Christmas break, while we were both off doing Christmas with our own families, I wrote diary entry after diary entry in my composition notebooks about how much I wished she was there.
We never shared a lips-on-lips kiss, and one of the things that I wrote about was a daydream of our first kiss. I used so many references to that song that now, I can't listen to it without feeling a deep, aching sort of hurt in my heart. I also listened to it after each day that we dated, because not only does it describe how I felt throughout our entire relationship, it used to be my favorite song.
I listened for a minute or so longer, letting myself bask in the pure pain of what the song meant to me, before grabbing my tablet from the backseat to find something, anything to distract myself with.
YOU ARE READING
Ocean Eyes
Non-FictionThis book is based off of a true story. It is a collection of memories of all of the people that I have ever fallen in love with. It will include thoughts and feelings and so much more. I hope you read this because it is the closest that I can come...
