MY STORY

3

Nanny gave me a sad smile and then nodded. The mansion became more gloomy than the last time I saw it and I don't know why but I felt that it became more cruel than before.

"Bakit karun paka naabot, Line? Dugay ra nagpaabot imong Lola sa imo." Nanny Kim asked as we headed our way to Lola's room at malungkot kong tiningnan si Nanny Kim and she look at me with sadness too and I felt sorry for escaping, and also it made me want to ask myself if leaving this place that time was worth it or the right thing to do. (Bakit ngayon ka lang dumating, Line? Matagal ng naghihintay ang Lola mo sa'yo.)

"I'm sorry for arriving late, Nanny Kim. Kahapon ko lang kasi nalaman ang tungkol kay Lola." I said in apologising look. And saying about my Lola's ailment made my heart aches. I am not used to see her weak and I think that's what I'm afraid of. I'm afraid that she will leave me too just like what my mother and lolo did and how about me here? Hindi ba nila ako isasama?

Nanny Kim opened the door for me and I gave her my thank you and she nodded in respond. As the door closed, I saw an old woman who is lying in the bed and I could feel that she's too weak to move. My heart just broke after seeing the most lovable women that I've known that now became an old weak woman. Agad akong pumunta sa tabi niya and when I saw her face, it just made my tears flow down in my cheeks.

"Lola.." I whispered through my sobs as I hold her hand. She weakly opened her eyes and gently look at me and upon seeing me, she smiled weakly that made my weeping worsen.

"My....Ne.Ne...." She said weakly and I nod at her and hug my Lola. Yes, you're Ne Ne is here now La, I'm finally here.

"I'm so sorry for leaving you here alone, La." I said while sobbing, this is the first time I remembered myself crying again. I swear, I will never leave her again.

"Apo....A-alam kong da--darating k-ka.." Tumingin ako kay Lola with full of worriedness and again, I saw her forced weak smile as if she's trying to smile even though she can't afford to do it.

"I'm sorry for leaving you here, La." I said as I hold my Lola's hand. It became slim down and holding it with force will look like you'll break it.

"N-no don't say that. A-ang laki mo na...apo..ang g-ganda ganda mo na apo.." Lola said trying to examine my face. I tried myself not to cry after hearing what she said. "May re-regalo pa-pala ako s-sayo apo...hindi ki-ta nabigyan ng re-galo no-ong na-nakaraang ma-mga kaarawan mo..." I shook my head.

"I don't need gifts, La. All I need is you." I said and hug her.

"Hi-indi ko na kaya apo..." Parang gumuho ang mundo ko pagkatapos marinig ang sinabi ni Lola. I shook my head as if trying not to believe her.

"N-no. No kaya--kayanin mo muna, La." I said. Am I that selfish? I am not selfish but not now please. I am not yet ready. Gusto ko pang makasama ng mas matagal si Lola.

Lola gave me an assuring smile. I don't know but the smile just made me think that she will be peacefully going to the paradise where Lolo and her will going to meet up. It made me think that she finally accepted her death afterall.

"Apo, mahal...na mahal.....ka ni Lola..." I closed my eyes trying to catch my breath because of my sobs. I just felt her hand slowly letting my hand go and I shook my head while saying the word 'no please, La'.

I stop from sobbing as well as from breathing when she gently closed her eyes and it hurts like hell seeing your Lola die in front of you. I closed my eyes too because I can't bear to watch her lifeless body.

I remember when my Lolo died too, he also told me that he loves me and I should always behave, and like Lola, he died infront of me too and I hate this scinario. It made me think that I was born to witness the death of my beloveds.