Preston: I'm making dinner tonight, you guys should come over. Ered: Okay, sure, yeah. Preston: I'm making spaghetti and meatballs. Max: Neil: [glancing at Max] Don't. Max: Swaghetti and memeballs. Preston: You're uninvited. Max: That's fair.
David: Max, what have I told you about staying out past your curfew? Max: I need to do it more often.
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Max: Do you think I'll be a lawyer if people see my search history filled with vehicular manslaughter?
Nikki: My school has an extra month. It's apparently a tradition. Max: You know what else is a tradition? Racism, and we're trying to end that too.
Max: I don't know if I can handle this one without murder.
Harrison: She's quite... blonde. Max: Let's not disparage people based on their hair colour. She's just real dumb.
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Billy: Why are you mad? Max: You STABBED me.
Max: What I do is I push emotions deep deep down until they turn into a mental illness.
Max: Nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere, everybody's gonna die. Come watch TV.
Max: In case you haven't noticed I'm weird. I'm a weirdo. I don't fit in and I don't want to fit in. Do you ever see me without this stupid coat?? That's weird! Nikki: Nikki: All I asked was if you wanted to hang out later.
Max: I don't have too many friends, OK? You punch them once and it's 'please don't punch me anymore.'
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Gwen: Hey. Max: Yeah? Gwen: You ever wonder why we're here? Max: It's one of life's great mysteries isn't it? Why are we here? I mean, are we the product of some cosmic coincidence, or is there really a God watching everything? You know, with a plan for us and stuff. I don't know, man, but it keeps me up at night. *Both stare at each other in silence.* Gwen: ...What?! I mean why are we out here, on this ship? Max: Oh. Uh... yeah. Gwen: What was all that stuff about God? Max: Uh...hm? Nothing. Gwen: You wanna talk about it? Max: No. Gwen: You sure? Max: Yeah.
David: Talk to him. That's what friends do. Max: Nope, I'm gonna wait till I'm on my deathbed, get in the last word, and then die immediately. David: That's your plan for dealing with this?! Max: That's my plan for dealing with everything. I have 77 arguments I'm gonna win that way. David: Seems like a bad plan. Max: Now I have 78.
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Nikki: Out of my way, extras! Max: Stop calling people "extras" just because you don't know them.
Nerris: What's the signal if something goes wrong? Max: How about 'Oh shit'? Nerris: That's good.
Max: Nothing in life is promised except death. Neil: Edgar Allen Poe? Max: Kanye West.
