Masks Off Identities Out

Chapter Twenty Three

3 years and 67 days. 

    Yelling, screaming, and things hitting the wall is all you could hear from Louis flat. "Don't tell me what to do Josh! This is my flat, I can have pictures of whoever the hell I want! You don't control me." Louis threw another vase intentionally missing his boyfriend and aiming for the wall. "Louis, just calm down. Stop throwing things. All I'm asking is why do you have so many pictures of this guy? Why haven't I met him? There are no pictures of us besides the one in your bedroom that I put there! It hurts me Louis, it hurts me to see you like this." Louis backed away from Josh, no tears came out of his eyes, he stared at Josh blankly, like he had just seen a ghost. "You don't know anything." Louis whispered. "You won't let me in Louis, I can't help you if you won't let me. I can't know anything because you close yourself off. I don't know what else to do." 

    "Give up. I'm a lost cause. Why are you still even here? Just give up, it's obvious you're getting tired of me Josh, just walk out that door and never come back." Josh's next actions were unexpected. He opened the door and walked out, when he looked back he saw Louis standing there "I'm sorry Louis I can't do this anymore. I'm trying and you won't put at least 1% effort into this relationship. I'm really sorry. I hope you can find someone strong enough not to give up on you like I did." As Josh walks away Louis screams "I never wanted you in my life! You were a burden to me anyways!" Louis slams the door as loud as he can and starts to bawl his eyes out. Not because he just lost his boyfriend but because everything Josh said was right, no one could help Louis, he walked out on Louis because Louis had hurt him, it was bound to happen and Louis knew it. It happened so suddenly. Louis picked himself off the floor and walked to his bedroom, he went under the covers and closed his eyes. He was alone, he had no one to run to, no one but himself. 

    Louis woke up to a migraine, he searched beside him for his phone and called in sick. "Fuck everything." He groaned as he managed to pull himself out of his bed and to the bathroom.

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    Meanwhile, Niall is peach perfect. His club is doing well, he's doing well and all in all Niall is just one big happy person. Niall's phone is ringing, when he looks at it it's an unknown number, he picks it up and hears groaning on the other line. "Niall, it's Louis." 

    "Hey, me ate Louis, how's everything been for you? Did you change your number?" It took a while for Louis to answer "yeah, had to change my number for personal reasons, listen mate, I haven't been feeling well at all and I was wondering if you would like to come down to my flat and have a day in." Niall looked around the empty flat and decided company was overdue. "Yeah, I'll be there in a jiffy. I'll bring the soup and some snackies we can munch on throughout the day, s'been a while since we had a proper day in together." Louis mumbles inaudible things before hanging up. 

    When Niall arrives at Louis flat he enters and helps himself to anything and everything. He goes into Louis bedroom to find Louis on the bed, his body sprawled out over the duvet, one leg hanging out from his blanket and he was lying on his stomach. "My poor baby, feeling sick and everything, don't worry baby, Dr. Horan is here today to fix you all better." Niall tore the covers off of Louis emerging a moan from Louis mouth. "Shut up Niall." Niall pushed Louis body over to the side and made himself comfy in the bed. "You wanted me to come over, I'm here, so what movie are we going to watch?" 

   Niall chose the most absurd movie, thinking his remedy of watching  movies to help make you feel better worked. "How can you not cry at this part Louis, your heartless. He's giving away his toys, he's had them since he was a child Louis, now he's leaving for college and giving them away. How can you be so heartless and not cry for the toys." Louis laughed at Niall, they were currently watching the last Toy Story "m'not much of a crier Nialler, maybe some other time." Niall laughed and they were both having a banter. Although Niall and Louis never really hung out when it was just them two, there were the rare times they did. Niall took Louis mind off of everything, he wasn't a depressing person to be around, Niall was his own fucking annoying ray of sunshine that everyone adored, he was literally glowing with rays of happiness, and Louis thought Niall was one of those people who found happiness within themselves, Niall was a truly happy person, he didn't need to be deserving of it because he found it within himself to be happy. "Whatcha thinking Lou?" 

    "Old times, how we used to be." Louis smiled and Niall kept laughing. 

    And for the first time in a long time everything was off Louis mind, his break up, his job and Harry's death. All thanks to this little ray of glowing happiness right beside him. 

3 years and 90 days

    Louis decided that a trip to see Zayn and Liam was necessary. He called the two lads up who had indeed moved in together and told them he was on his way. "Lou-eh!" Zayn pulls Louis into a hug followed by Liam. "Missed you much mate." 

    The three boys played FIFA for hours, they drank and laughed and once again Louis mind was taken away from everything. That is until he got a phone call, he looked at his phone and Josh's name flashing on the screen. "I'll be right back boys, gotta take this." He went out onto their balcony and took the call. "Hello Josh. How nice of you to finally find some ball and call me." Louis was buzzed, half the words he meant and the other half wanted it to be a bit more nice. "Sorry, Lou. I'm really sorry for everything, I shouldn't have walked out on you like that, especially when you are in a time of need for someone." Louis wasn't shocked but rather angry. "I don't need your sympathy, Josh everything you said that night you meant, and I don't care anymore. I'm over it." Josh took a while to reply until he took a breath "I miss you Louis, I know we hit bump in the road, a pretty big one, but I want you back. I'm so sorry Louis." 

    "You walked out once, you'll do it again Josh. I can't have that in my life, I can't have you walking out and prancing back into it. I don't need you to come back because you feel like I'm a charity case, because I'm fucking not. I'm a grown man, I can handle myself. You'll repeat the mistake you did, and I don't want to watch it happen again, because everything you said that night was right. I hurt you, and I dragged you down with me, that's my fault and I understand that you didn't want to deal with my bullshit anymore, but if you can't handle that then how can you handle what's coming up to the future?" There was a long pregnant silence between the two. "I just want you to know that I miss you Louis, and that I love you." 

    "No. Stop, don't say that. Because you don't, Josh, just please hang up. If you loved me you wouldn't tell me over the phone. So please, Josh just hang up." Josh was rambling on and Louis was fussing over it. "Stop running away from your feeling Louis, I don't care what happened in your past, look past it already. I can be your future Louis, I promise I will make you feel better, I will take care of you. I will be there for you through thick and thin and through time of sickness." Louis laughs "This isn't a wedding vow Josh, you aren't going to be there. You can't handle my past, I don't see you in my future and I'm sorry okay? So Josh, hang up, give up. It's time." And with that the line goes dead. Liam and Zayn are standing by the balcony door staring at Louis. "Care to explain Tommo?" They all sat down on the balcony and took out their smokes while Louis told his story of him and Josh, which wasn't all that fascinating. "You'll find someone Louis, someone who will take good care of you and will understand the pain you are going through, eventually someone will." Louis hugged both Liam and Zayn, they were both genuinely good people, they had good hearts and they were just pure gold. Louis was thankful for friends like his, because without Zayn, Liam and Niall, Louis wouldn't have gotten through with half the bullshit he's gone through now. 

    Louis knew he was lucky to have these three boys, and those three boys were lucky to have Louis, because without Louis all memory of Harry would've slowly faded. Of course a little piece of him would still be there but a reminder who Harry really was came from Louis. Louis was a ball of sunshine covered by a dark cloud. Louis looked up at the stars and it reminded him of Harry, because Harry was like the stars, Harry was like the sun, Harry was like the moon, Harry was Louis world a world to cease to exist but a world that only Louis could enter. 

    But as a group, Niall was the sun, Liam was the moon, Louis was the stars, Zayn was the earth and Harry was gravity, Harry was the one that held everything together. Niall made everyone's day. Liam was a truly beautiful person, Zayn held and saw all the beauty, Louis was a scatter of emotions that contained so much beauty, but together they made one beautiful picture, and now it's one beautiful broken piece of art. 

​They were a masks with identities yet to come out. 

This is the last chapter until the Epilogue! I hope you guys enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.