Crazy (Crankiplier)

1: silent

"A negative mind will never give you a positive life."

Ethan

Silent. My cries for help make no effort when their silent. When I don't show how much I really need it. When I'm not strong enough to shout. When my hearts screams and shouts telling me I need to seek help. My mind don't want me bothering anyone with my nonsense. So I put on a fake smile and cry late at night. Another day. I get out of bed. I put on a fake smile. The circles around my eyes slightly visible. The tear stains no longer exist.

Why me...

I grab clothes and get in the shower. Razor.... I can't resist. I grab the razor.

⚠Trigger warning⚠

I put the razor against my wrist. One cut.. The stinging sensation around the cut. The crimson red color dripping from the cut. I put the razor against my wrist again. Another cut... Then again. And another cut... I make more and more. My wrists feels numb almost and my arms are now a red color. I wash it off and the red drips into the shower. Once I'm done get out of the shower and dry myself off.

End of triggering scene

I get dressed and look at myself. Ugly... I sigh. I have to get to Mark's studio in about 10 minutes. I go out side and start my car. The studio is about 8 minutes away. So I let my car warm up for a couple minutes before driving to the studio.

When I get there I stand outside and put on my fake smile. After I enter the studio and see Mark setting up for a video. I start helping him knowing how he needed it set up from recent experiences.

"You don't have to help me you know." Mark says continuing to set up.

"I know, I just want to make myself useful." I say.

"Ok." Mark says and we finish setting up. Tyler comes just in time.

"Hey Ty." I say.

"Hi Eth." Tyler says.

I look at Tyler. He's happy... Why can't I be. I then look at Mark. He's happy to. Why can't I be like them. I snap back into reality once I see a hand in front of my face.

"Ethan, you ok?" Mark asks. I nod.

"I'm fine." I lie. My lies are believed and everything is back to normal.

We start filming. Everything is going alright. We finish and start talking about whatever.

Everything is normal until. My sleeve came up slightly I didn't notice until a couple minutes after. I pulled them back down. Tyler saw me move my sleeve.

"Aren't you hot?" Tyler asks.

"No." I say.

"Ok, well I have to go." Tyler says and stands up.

"Ok see you tomorrow Ty." Mark says. I wave at Tyler. Tyler leaves.

"I might as well leave to." I say. I get up.

"Ok bye Eth." Mark says.

"Bye Mark." I say. I get up and leave. I go to my car and start driving, home...

Once I get home I go to my bedroom lying on my bed. I sigh. Why me.