The Baby Favor

3.

Jason couldn't shake the feeling that he was a horrible person.

It had been only three days since Michael, Luna and Carroll moved into his house, but he felt awful from virtually the moment it happened. Not because he didn't like having people in his space or that he resented the situation. It's because he did like it. He liked the scent of Michael's shampoo lingering in the heavy air of the bathroom after his shower. He liked hearing a baby's giggles  downstairs. It reminded him of the happiest time of his life. And because of that, he had to keep his distance and close himself off from everyone else in the house.

And that was why he felt like a horrible person. He hadn't held Luna since he had laid her down for her nap after the funeral. He hadn't fed her, bathed her, played with her or even so as stepped foot into the nursery to check on her during the night. There might as be no baby in the house. Jason tried to resin with himself that it was the nanny's Jon. That was why he'd insisted they have one, after all. Jason was just for show-a make believe mom for a make believe family, to sloth Jay's worries. So he could keep his distance, go along with his agreement with Michael and come out of this situation unscathed.

Ava was right- this plan was entirely centered on his self preservation. But who could blame him? What man with a ticking biological clock and a love for children wouldn't fall head over heals for Luna? She was the sweetest, most laid back baby Jason had ever encountered. She had a head of crazy brunette curls, Michael's big blue eyes and his dimples. There was plenty of Jay and David in her too, like David's button nose and Jay's pouty lips but unfortunately all Jason could see were the bits of Michael's genetics in her.

The pieces that their own biological child would've had if they could have had their own. It was just in his nature to want to care for people. When he heard a baby cry, he wanted to smooth it. When Michael swore, he wanted to rush down and see if he'd hurt himself. But he had to remind himself time and time again that this wasn't his baby and this what's his husband. If he let himself think otherwise, even for a moment, his heart would be crushed when it ended.

As it was, his heart still hadn't recovered from its last major hit. He wasn't entirely sure how he could recover when his too-sexy-to-be-ex-husband was sitting on his couch watching a football game and working on his laptop.

So far, Jason had made the excuse that he had to work. And it was true. In his studio, a massive four-panel canvas took up an entire wall, waiting to be painted. When he was done, it would be disassembled, photographed, boxed and shipped to Hawaii to be hung up on the lobby of the Honolulu Hotel.

Jason took a step back and eyeballed his work. The painting was coming along. So far, he'd focused mainly on the background with three humpback whales roughed in, but not yet done. Locking himself in his studio for hours on end had been helpful for that, at least.

He put down the paintbrush and stretched his hands out. Damn. It had been a long them time since he'd worked such long stretches without stopping. How long had it been? Jason looked at his watch. It was almost 8 in the evening. He hadn't even stopped to eat, drink or use the bathroom since noon.

That was it for tonight. He rolled his shoulders and reluctantly stepped out into the hallway. He could hear the sounds of the television downstairs. It was Luna's bedtime, so Carroll was probably giving her a bath.

Jason crept down one of the double winding staircase and went into the kitchen. He was surprised to find Carroll there, making herself a cup of tea. Her face looked a bit puffy, eyes watery and her nose was red.

"Good evening Mr.Vincent," she greeted as though her nose was pinched closed.

Jason frowned" You sound awful, Carroll. Are you coming down with something?"