Red and Gray

Sunset

She was still pissed off even as Episode V started. 

"Okay, I know you're still pissed," Gray said. "And that is not a stupid-ass comment, so just listen. Please." 

"Good idea," Red agreed, folding her legs under her. She was barefoot, and they were drinking eggnog, even though it was months before Christmas. "Start explaining."

"I wasn't at Juvenile Detention, Red," Gray said in a rush. Worse, actually.

"I know," she replied. "So where were you?"

"Miami." That word held volumes. 

"With your aunt and uncle?" She shot up from her seat. "Why didn't you tell me? Is it because of what happened with - with him?" 

Gray's uncle was an army general - and the butt of all threats. Gray had done some colossally stupid stuff before he'd met her, and his parents had always threatened to send him away and get him straightened out.

And that threat had come to fruition, and because of her. For her, really. Red sat back and looked at him, really looked at him, for the first time in over a year. His shoulders were slumped. His hair - once riotously spiked - seemed flattened into orderly submission. Some of the spark was gone from his eyes as he looked at her.

"Did you need to ask that?" he said, leaning back while Red wrapped her head around his words. She could see him tense when she sat back down like he was expecting her to start yelling again. For a moment she was tempted.

But she couldn't find the words to scream.

"I told you I didn't want anyone to retaliate for me," she said - very gently. 

"Because you didn't want us to get hurt, or you didn't want him to get hurt?!" Gray said, like dousing her with ice water. Red flinched, and his face crumpled.

"You did not just ask that," she said, clenching her hand. "Of course I didn't want any of you to get hurt. Besides, I would've broken his nose before you got to him."

"Would you have?" he asked, and she raised an eyebrow at him.

The thought was even more satisfying. And even though what Gray did to her ex-boyfriend was still less than he deserved, Gray left a week after and her ex-boyfriend ended up in jail.

She'd lost the both of them. Her ex-boyfriend in two months, Gray in a week. 

That year she felt like she needed to clean everything out. Her room. Her locker. Her shelves. Herself. 

She'd gotten rid of the red hair. She'd taken down her old grunge and punk rock posters. She'd bought more books and started reading again. They smiled at her like old friends. Before last year, she couldn't even remember the last time she'd touched a book. She used to love reading.

Now her room is clean, the walls a little bare. Her old CDs were locked away. She'd even started listening to a little classical music. On good days. Then she breaks out the latest album of Sleeping with Sirens. Never gets old.

Now her hair's naturally black, she kind-of-sort-of likes Taylor Swift, and she's gotten more tolerant of everyone around her. No matter how stupid they can get. She just holds on to the fact that they're not really that stupid.

Though when one of her classmates got suspended for blowing up a mini-fridge full of chocolate pudding, she's not entirely sure.

Now she's not sure if she still knows Gray.

The Gray who made her laugh with his lame jokes and weird way of seeing the world. The one who actually seemed like he cared about her, who'd notice if she was gone, who remembered all the little things that matter and the big things that didn't really. The Gray who looked at her like she was there.

She was being selfish. "Was he hard on you?" she asked softly. "Your uncle?"

Gray shrugged. A tight, angry shrug. He wasn't so carefree anymore. Her chest wrenched.

Red slid an arm around his shoulders, even as he stiffened. "I'm sorry, Gray. I mean, I hate you for leaving, but I'm sorry about where you went."

He held her arm. "I know you are."

Do you understand why?

"This is my fault," she whispered. Gray's head whipped around to look at her.

"Don't you dare tell yourself that," he said, with sudden anger. "This is all on me."

That wasn't true at all, but Red flinched from the heat in his tone. "Fine."

He wrapped an arm around her, anchoring her to the warmth of him. The window next to them let slip a few shades of sun like a bright secret, a pleasant surprise.

The sun was setting.

*******