Chronicles of Love and Other Stuffs

Pain and Joy: All At Once

He had been running through the winding alley for nearly half an hour now. He already ran breathless... yet it did not stop him. He stared at the woman cuddled between his arms. She was also breathless as he is. She was breathing with rapidity that scared him...

And her eyes were closed as though it was the only thing she could do for now.

He stroked her hand through her belly. Tears filled his eyes as he thought of the baby. Of his daughter.

He whispered in his hoarse voice, "We're almost there now..."

He was trying to soothe her. And the baby somehow.

Minutes later, they were finally halfway through the narrow alley that led to the streets. He had grown tired already. All the shaking and running drew all his breaths away, and he could only gasp tiny breaths from the air. His chest had felt tighter and his sweats were enough to bathe him off. The hospital was yet too far away than he imagined. He knew he couldn't swear to it that they'd arrive in time. However... he believed they could.

He looked at her once again. Her face was wet and every inch of her skin was pale and very much whiter than the normal tone he ever saw on her. And despite the darkness, he could clearly see that there were tiny beads of tears falling down her cheeks. It was brought by pain. And the tears he had been holding fell down his cheeks too. The world blurred around him and he could hardly see the path. The absence of the moon made it difficult to see the way. Yet however he still was able to run through the way until he could nearly die.

He was squinting and could only see half of the world by then. His eyes were dipped in excessive moisture and there was a penetrating pain in his chest. An emotional pain. He knew this day would happen. This day when the baby would come out. He should've rented a place somewhere near the hospital or the streets. He should've been a more responsible partner. A more responsible father. He hated himself now.

He cried enough tears to shut the world down. Yet he did not stop. Nor is he planning to.

He had to take her to the hospital.

He had to run all the way through the lengthy alley and get her to the nearest hospital.

For the hundredth time since they departed from their house, he looked at her once again. He looked at her with the deepest sorrow and sympathy.

The he whispered in broken words, "We're almost there now..."

She opened her eyes for the first time and said something he failed to catch. But he didn't care.

He was surprised when she gripped his arms even more tightly than before. And he could hear her whisper, "Sorry..."

He didn't know what she was apologizing for. Could it be for gripping his arms or something. But whatever it was for, he knew she was never at fault. Because she never was.

"I was the one who's supposed to say that..." he said between sobs and whispers. He hoped that was soothing enough. He hoped that was comforting enough...

No sooner had he ran completely out of breaths than they arrived on the streets minutes later. He stopped for a split second and waited on the side of the street.

He took the moment to bring back all his breaths that were taken away by the excessive efforts on running.

Later, a tricycle passed by. He shouted indistinctly to indicate he needed help. His mouth had already dried up to say something now.

He looked at her. And for a moment he thought he saw a flash of smile from her face.

He looked back up to hold back the pain upon seeing her in pain.