You Found Me

Part Five

Lynn and Grace both sit intensely staring at me while I tell them everything that happened starting with my dream.

"Oh my god," Lynn exclaimed. She jumped up and paced across the room, "like was it only supposed to be a peck or something?" Her hands are now on her head, why is she freaking out so badly?

"No I mean I don know we didn't set any ground rules. Were we supposed to," I ask the two girl freaking out beside me. Were Ansel supposed to make ground rules or something?

"No but oh my god you made friends with his girl friend and then sucked his face off! if mean you go girl but what if it was me? What if I did this what would you say to me? I mean I was one hundred percent cool with this until u said he has a girlfriend! What if you just lost a friend that you've had since like first grade?" Ok now she's shouting at me and Grace is just siting there listening to Lynn scream at me.

"I...I didn't even know it was going to happen. I'm sorry but when it happened I didn't want it to stop. If that makes me a slut or what ever then fine." Oh my god was that me?

"Slut shamed," what? Ok slut shame is for the whores who take our crushes, we started it freshman year. I never thought it'd be used against me.

"Slut shamed? For a kiss, A KISS!" I scream the last two words, wow I've never screamed at either one of them. How's she going to take it? "It's not like you like Ansel or something," she stops pacing and freaking out and looks at me. "Right?" Oh my god she likes Ansel.

She doesn't answer, she just fucking stares at me. "Get out," I calmly tell her and she doesn't move. "I said get the hell out!" She jumps a little but then turns to leave.

She stops at the door and looks back at me, "Dia..."

"No I'm slut shamed remember!" I cut her off and she just walks out.

I look over at Grace who just sat there an watch my friendship with Lynn just blow up. "How long have you known?" I finally break the silence and ask Grace.

"A while actually, why did you get so mad?" Grace looks like she's about to cry.

"I...I don't know, why didn't she just tell me?" I pulled up my blanket and sat a little more up.

"She was afraid of well of what just happened. I don't think she should've slut shamed you, but I don't think you should've reacted like that also." Grace is telling me the truth and I know it. "Diann I think I'm gonna go home,okay?"

I just nod my head and she walks away. Okay, both of my best girl friends just walked out on me, and why? Because I finally got something I wanted and Lynn didn't like that, not one bit. Wait, did I want that? I mean the moment his lips met mine I just forgot about the world except for the fireworks going off in the back of my head.

How can I feel this way about my best friend? Does he feel the same way I feel?

...

I don’t even remember falling asleep last night, but I wake up to something no not something, someone tripping and falling clumsily on the floor. I sit up and flick on my bed side lamp to find out who it is, Ansel Elgort.

“What are you doing here?” My eyes adapt to the sudden change in light.

“I wanted to put something,” Ansel says getting up off the floor. He has a crumpled picture in his hand and he’s trying to increase it.

“What’s that,” I ask trying to find out what the picture is. He walks over and I scoot over so he can sit beside me on the bed.

“It’s a picture of us at Dolly Wood last summer, I kindda smashed it when I fell on the floor.” He’s looking at the picture all disappointed that he smashed it, I place my hand on his shoulder and he looks up at me.

“Its fine,” I try to comfort him. “I love that picture regardless of how the paper looks.” Its true that’s my favorite picture of Ans and I together, his arm around my shoulder and both of us laughing because we just got off the Wild Eagle roller coaster. “Why’d you bring it?”

“I overheard Kym and Matthew talking to the doctor and he said to be bringing in pictures and stuff because,” he take a few seconds to gather his thoughts, “Because you might have slight memory loss.” Oh my God, what if I forget Ansel? How could my parents not tell me?

“Ansel, you know I’d never forget you. You are my most favorite person in the world, I don’t care what I forget or remember, but as long as I have you I’ll be one hundred percent fine.” I hope these words are true, I’m going to believe they are.

“What if you forget me,” Ansel looks like he’s on the verge of crying and if he does I know I will.

“Don’t think like that and don’t cry cause then I’ll cry and we’ll just be a big mess.” He laughs at me, that is good. God I really like him, but he has a girlfriend now. “Hey how’s Cas?”

“Oh yeah, um, she’s okay I guess. Hey look its five in the morning you should sleep, big day tomorrow.” He pats me on the shoulder and stands up, no I want him to stay. But he changed the subject about Cas awful fast, that’s unlike him.

“Wait,” my small fingers wrap around his wrist. “Will you stay with me?” Please say yes.

“Where will I sleep?” Wow, he really is a dork.

“With me,” I say and scoot over and lift up my blanket.

Ansel just looks at me then takes his shirt and pants off, to where he’s only in his boxers and gets in. He’s warm against my cold body and I absolutely love it. He lifts up his arm letting me know its okay to lean my head on his chest and so I did. We laid still for a while and I started to drift off, but before I fully drifted away I felt his lips against the top of my head and he whispered “Dianna I screwed up.” I am too tired and didn’t want to get into this tonight so I decided I’ll ask him tomorrow morning, and before I knew it my eyes fluttered shut.