I hate Dan Howell,
I hated him back when we were little and he would pull my hair and steal my things,
I hated him when we got older and it started to feel more like friends just messing around,
I hated him when we grew up and went to different schools and kept in touch,
I hated him when he was so sweet to me and made me confused of my feelings towards him,
I hated him when he asked me out and I said yes even though I was still confused,
I hated him when he broke my heart just when I had decided that I loved him,
I hated him when I said yes to still being friends because I couldn’t stand to be without him,
I hated him when he asked for me back and I said yes because I loved him and was so pathetic,
I hated him when even though he said he loved me he still went out and cheated on me,
I hated him when he didn’t even tell me himself and instead I heard about it from a friend,
I hated him when I forgave him because I felt like I had to be the bigger person when it only made me pathetic,
I hate the fact that now months later I still cry myself to sleep over him,
I hate the fact that there are so many things I want to tell him that I know I never will,
I hate the fact that there are scars on my wrists saying I will never be good enough for him,
But what I hate most about Dan Howell is the fact that even after everything he put me through I still love him and it breaks my heart every day to know he never will.
