i hate you // lawlorff

six

It felt rushed and new and terrifying, but also exciting. In the movies, two characters meet and bam! they're irreplaceable to one another forever. Their souls becoming intertwined. I was thinking too much about what we were what we weren't, why not just give it a shot?

I clean my plate from the pancakes in the sink and he puts a hand on my shoulder.

"You know you don't have to do that, right?" he says.

I shake my head in protest against his hospitality. "Not happening. I can't believe you're letting me just move in with you after meeting you a few days ago. It's incredible. You're... incredible."

He looks down and I can see the rosy tint on his cheeks become more emphasized. What luck- to find a handsome unexpected boy like this in my life. It was never how I had pictured myself feeling- especially towards another male. In fact, I was a little homophobic in the past. When I learned my friend Ricky was gay, I started hanging out with him less and less. I faded out of his life just because I thought he was going to hit on me or force his sexuality on me but that wasn't true at all. I was insensitive and naive.

I looked at Sam. His eyebrows raised, immediately discovering the look on my face meant I had an idea. "What?"

"I have someone I want you to meet." I replied.

"Who?" he asked puzzled, slumping down on the couch. I followed him over and laid my legs across his lap.

He promptly put a hand on my inner thigh and held it with a soft grip.

"My friend Ricky. I was rude to him in the past about being gay. I'm really ashamed of it- especially now that I'm beginning to have a crush on you."

The corners of Sam's lips turned upward and revealed tiny creases in his skin. I mentally noted how adorable that they made him look.

"We are having people for dinner next Sunday, why not make it a party?" he suggested.

I looked around at his apartment. Everything looked so expensive. I wouldn't want one of my drunk friends- or worse, me, to break something.

"I don't know...," I slumped where I sat, "Are you sure that you're okay with a party here?"

Sam chuckled. "Oh yeah. You may think I'm too pretentious for a good house party but I assure you I don't enjoy sitting around with boring people sipping overly priced wines. Plus... I'm quite the beer pong champion."

I laughed. I practically majored in partying at school. I thought back on all the good times I'd had before I decided to settle for a manual labor job that didn't require a degree. It paid the bills, and my family couldn't afford to keep me wasting money at college when I wasn't even learning anything.

"I think I want to challenge you," I suggested. "Play me in beer pong Sunday."

Sam raised a bushy eyebrow. "What does the winner get?" he asked seductively, implying some bet i'd regret making later.

I scoffed. "You wish, Pottorff."

He gazed into my eyes and his eyes scanned my lips for a second before returning up to my eyes. The sun was pouring in through the large glass windows that surrounded the penthouse. A beam of sunlight hit directly into Sam's pupils. They were a golden brown shade now, like an eye of a tiger. I really picked a great person to pretend to be my boyfriend, I thought to myself.

"Shit. I have work," I untimely broke the cozy silence we had going on.

"What time? I could drive you," Sam suggested.

"4," I said, "And yeah, that would be great actually." Living in the city I didn't think I would need a car. Unfortunately for me, I spent so much on booze in the past month since my breakup-cheating-on-me-with-my-best-friend-fiasco, I hardly had enough for cab fare.

"Great," Sam said, "We'll leave in an hour."

I nodded in agreement and he pointed his head toward the bedroom.

"Lay down with me for a while, Kian. I want to get to know you better."

I followed him through the doorway to his bedroom. I didn't get how he could afford all this, the penthouse in New York City, the Ferrari, the nice clothes and furniture, the king sized bed for just himself, anything.

I made my way to the right side of the bed and kicked off the sheets so I could slide inside. He had a memory foam mattress. I didn't remember it being this comfortable last night, but still, I didn't remember much of anything.

I let my body sink into the warm cloud of a bed and he giggled, supposedly because of my pleased expression on my face.

"Comfy?" he asked, almost laughing through his words.

I nodded and pat gently on the area next to me. He threw off his shirt, exposing muscles I didn't know he had with his small frame, and tattoos I didn't know he had either. I couldn't help but stare. He caught me looking and slowly sank into the pillows next to me. He rested his hand on his face and looked at me admiringly.

"Kian Lawley. Tell me about who that is. Who you are."

I shrugged a little. "There's not much to tell. I grew up in Queens. My dad left when I was little. I had to be there for my mom and sister since I could get a job, basically. I worked whatever paid, no matter how shitty the hours or work was. My mom... she passed away a few years ago- cancer. My sister lives with her grandma now. She's 12."

He ran a hand through my hair. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"I couldn't afford to keep going to college so I dropped out. Mom's medical bills were enough to put me in debt for life. I'm still trying to work off the amount of loans it took for me to get to go to college for a year. And my mom's medical and funeral bills, that's a whole other story. I don't really like talking about myself."

I shyed away from any further talk about the subject because it really got to me. I could tell Sam could see this in my eyes. Were they welling up with tears? I didn't know, but he kissed me so softly it felt like an angel's lips were against mine. I felt something heavy lift off me.

"Well, I'll talk about me then," he reassured me.

Sam told me about how his mom died, how his father couldn't cope, how his father's business used to be booming but is now suffering because of his lack of motivation, and how it all affected Sam. I felt moved by all that he said. He had come through a lot too, even though to me it looked like nothing just because of their financial situation being far better than mine.

He ended his testimony and I pulled his body close to mine. "I want to know more."

He looked confused. "I just told you all there is,"

"No," I stopped him, "I want the small stuff. I want to know what your favorite color is and the books you read as a kid, what your dreams are and your biggest fears, I really like you."

I felt myself blush after the confession, even though it was totally obvious. We were into each other. It was a chemical connection.

"You really want to get to know me like that now?" he asked.

"No," I said. "I want to take you on a proper date. You can tell me more about your adorable self then."

He smiled. "You said you hated me not four days ago."

"Does it look like I hate you now?" I asked, and leaned in and kissed him.